Judge — June 8, 1918 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

If it’s tands | h nt ll y ‘i “No Man’s Land” By David Robinson Tus clever picture, a reproduction of one of the many popular covers of JUDGE, in full colors, mounted on a heavy mat, 11x14, ready for framing, makes an attractive decora- tion for any man’s “Land.” Ik will be mailed post free upon receipt of twenty-five cents, cash or stamps. Write Judge Art Print Department 225 Fifth Avenue New York City > | The Goddess { By Wut H. Henpricxson THe poets rave about her eyes, About her hair of burnished gold; The sculptors rave about her size, They say she is of perfect mold. The women rave about each gown, About her hats, her boots, her frills, While I, poor husband to Renown, Trave and rave about her bills. Small Caliber Hewitt—Gruet is a light-weight. Jewett—I should say so; he isn’t big enough to be cashier of a toy bank. A Valuable Tip UDGE was one of the three most popular publications in the camps in a list including all the leading magazines “The happy medium,” Judge, furnishes welcome relaxation for war-strung nerves. Stick a 1¢ stamp on the cover of this issue, according to postmaster Burieson’s advice, and drop in the mail; the Government willsend Do this every week, and you'll make life that much cheerier for the men in camp and “over there.” Or send us a dollar and a soldier’s or sailor's name and address — either at camp or at the front — and we'll send him the next 13 issues. Address Judge, 225 Fifth Avenue, New York City Prose and Cons By P. M. aE a a > ae 2 ea! Baby Butchers HUN is known by the babies he kills.— Washington State Weekly. And by the childishness of his ” afterward. “explanations’ . Garden Their Rights You may not believe it, but bills for an increase of pensions are before Congress in behalf of Cain and Abel. Their front names are respectively William T. and Alfred L. . * * More Truth than Poetry Smile and the Hun scowls at you, Joke—it’s a Teuton sin, For sad old Fritz, with his long-drawn snitch, Can’t learn to fight with a grin. * * * Hunnish Stuff The Fuel Administration and the War Industries Board are considering the elimina- tion of the so-called comic supplement from Sunday newspapers.—Washington News Item. And the first to go should be those sup- plements which exploit the slap-stick cru- elties of “The Katzenjammer Kids.” ‘They are vicious, vulgar, un-American. * * ° Rough Shod There are now 180 firms in Germany em- ployed in the manufacture of wooden soles.— Amsterdam Cable. The biggest firm of all, Hohenzollern & Co., has been busy for more than forty years making wooden souls for all Ger- many. . * * In Their Element There is positively no truth in the Washington rumor that Representative Mudd of Maryland has refused to mingle with Representative Rainey of Illinois. ‘The canard probably was started by the same loose conversationalist who averred that Strong (of Pennsylvania) was men- tally huskier than Hardy (of Texas) or Hale (of Maine) and that Senators Under- wood and Overman could verbally out- distance any three Congressmen of the caliber of Black (Texas) or White (Ohio) and yet spill no Gore (Oklahoma) and break no Glass (Virginia). It would be interesting to know what Doolittle (Kan- sas) and Wingo (Arkansas) think of all this. ° . . George Washington Seeks Citizenship Among those who applied for citizenship papers to Justice Joseph Aspinall in the Supreme Court in Brooklyn yesterday was a middle-aged man who told the Justice that his name was George Washington.— New York Times. And the joke of it is he was born in Belgium of British parents and his appli- cation was laid aside for a week just to make sure he was worthy of becoming an American. . * * C ‘our own Regiment ‘and Company Included. Sdeciat Prices om order eciet Pre LOG Cc. K. GROUSE CO., betaine 121 Bruce Ave. tt ‘North Attleboro, Mass. ROMEIKE’ PRESS CLIPPING BUREAU We will send you ell newspaper clippings which may appear about you, your friends, or any subject on which you may want to be * date.” Every newspaper and periodical of im portance in the United States and. Europe is Wearched. "Terms, 83.00 for 100 novices HENRY ROMEIKE, 106-110 Seventh Ave., New York Manchester Mathematics Previous to the war a third of the Nottingham lace exported went to the United States. The quantity has fallen to one-half.—Manchester (England) Evening News. Probably explains the lace curtain bar- gains now so extensively advertised in our small-town newspapers. * . No Need to Advertise Some way should be devised to let the Ger- man people know that there are more than 500,000 American soldiers in France.— Birming- ham Age-Herald. They'll know it good and plenty when our boys get up full steam. The Notion Counter By Dovetas Mantocu OME of the cake that is sent to the sol- diers ought to be sent to the Germans. It would be well if a man would put off his coat instead of his work. When the preacher says “fifthly” and “sixthly” I am sorry he ever learned to count. It would be well if orators were as care- ful of their figures as women are. One advantage in quoting statistics is that few people are in a position to con- tradict them. American life seems to be a race be- tween culture and chewing gum. About the worst waste of time is to go out for one. Men ought to fear whiskers as much as women fear wrinkles. But a great love, indeed, would be one that surpasseth misunderstanding. They talk a lot about the “idle rich,” but nobody ever seems to say anything about the man who runs a country hotel. (LARS saves uticurg SOAP : ibe OINTMENT \ QUICKLY REMOVE _ HESUN PIMPLES DANDRUFF THE HAIR WPL HACE Avast erce Ber w Beare Saaterereneae