Judge — June 8, 1918 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Advertising— The Forethought of American he work ome ‘country’s military objects. chief among the alms of the ° Wrtia for tnseresting booklet Convention Board San Prancisco, Cal, “You old rounder, you've been out with Medusa again! I found a snake on your choulder.”—Jester. Constructive Criticism “ AW, play ball!” “Hit 'er out! bunt.” This ain't no time to ! Say, you ain’t fast enough avy League.” “Run, you lobster, run!” ealead. Do you think you're married ide, you dub, slide!” Put in a real pitcher, manager.” “We'd have a team if we only had a short- stop.” “Aw, take him out before he thruws the game away. And this isn’t disloyalty to the home team. It is sincere patriotism, born of intense desire to help win the game. And it is that spirit which gets the players ‘“‘on their toes” and puts “pep” in the game. With the Gllege Wits rrespousible irrepressible, Joyous, Because “You know, I think the day the prodigal son came back must have been an awfully slippery o “Why “Because the Bible says that when his father came out to welcome him, he fell on his neck.” —Awgwan. Another Hour for Sleep “Use ‘laid’ correctly in a sentence.” “T laid in bed until ten o'clock.” “Correct. Use it in another sentence.” “T laid in bed until eleven o'clock.” —Punch Bowl. Misunderstood Feminine Voice Over Phone—Hello, are you Harry? Masculine Voice—Not especially, lady, but I'm far from bald.— . The Observer Instructor—I told you to notice when that solution burned over. One of the Left-overs—I did. It was a quarter to four.—Burr, The Good Old Days Emperor Catullus—Where the devil is Senator Calculus? Court Clerk—His wife has company today, Your Highness, and she’s using his only toga for a table cloth.—Cha parral. A Lay of Ancient Rome At a consul’s election, a quorum Lacked a Senator, Rex Asinorum, So they asked in a note How he wanted to vote. His laconic reply was ‘I'm Forum.” —Purple Cow. A New One Agitated Lady—Hurry, guard! There’s a man in the water with a paralytic stroke! Life Guard—Dat’s a new one on me, lady. Does you mean de overhead or de crawl? —Jester. Safe Bet Stude—If it’s heads, we go to bed. If it’s tails we stay up. And (nervously) if it stands on edge, we study.—Punch Bowl. The Gift “You would have to go a long way, my friend, to find a better cigar than that?” maybe, but I know where I could buy ‘idow. Her Game He—What game do you play best? She—Soldiers.—Record. Interrupted Flash—My love for you is like that rose in your hair, fresh, tender, and—— Flo—Antificial.— Brunonian, To Complete the Job Soph—What's all the hurry, Frosh? Frosh—Our chemistry Prof. is overcome with gas. Soph—Going for a doctor? Frosh—No, more gas.—Lehigh Burr. for the frame. Another JUDGE Hit Scored with the Brush HIS clever picture, which appeared on a recent cover of JUDGE, has been reproduced in full colors and mounted on a heavy mat, 11x14, ready It will be sent postpaid for twenty- five cents cash or stamps. JUDGE ART PRINT DEPARTMENT 225 FIFTH AVENUE NEW YORK CITY