Judge — June 1, 1918 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LLUD UNS High Cost of Washing—Labor trou- bles in these war times are not con- fined to steel mills and coal mines. They are brought straight home to most fami- lies which require domestic services. A New York commuter is one of the men with a tale of woe. After canvassing the employment agencies, he found a colored mammy who agreed to do the family washing, every Tuesday for two dollars. This’ washerwoman was frank. She “reckoned” she would like her job better if someone got her in an automobile. The limousine was sent for her on the first day and when the day’s work was over the chauffeur took her back home in the limousine. He handed her two dollars. “IT gets $2.10," said the woman, smiling. “They told me to give you two dol- lars,” insisted the chauffeur. “Lan’s sake alive,” said mammy, “T guess the madam mus’ have forgot som’fin.”” “What’s the extra ten cents for?” inquired the chauffeur. “Ten cents? Why, dat’s for de car- fare.” —Wall Street Journal. The Best of It—De mule has too much de best of it,” remarked Mr. Erastus Pinkley. ‘If I lays hands on it dey’ll have me up befor’ de animal pre- vention society. But spos’n de mule kicks me.” “What then?” in’t g’ineter git reported. All laugh an’ ack like dey thought de mule showed good judgment.” —Washington Star. Southern Chivalry—Chad and Jule, a young colored couple, every morning walked to the village where they both worked. One misty morning Chad discovered a catamount stretched along a limb which hung directly over the path. Like every one else in that country, he carried a shot- gun, hoping to get a squirrel or rabbit for supper. He fired at the brute, luckily blinding it. It fell to the ground and Chad killed it by beating it with the gun. Between them the two carried it to town where it was admired, weighed, and measured. Chad proudly told his story over and over. At last one of the by- standers asked: “Weren't you frightened, Chad?” “Yah! yah!” laughed Chad. “I was mighty skeered when I saw the varmint Taking Issue with a Strategist eae “Que, monsicur, prenne garde de ne pas renverser son bock sur la cinquiéme armée bavaroise— au prix oud sont aujourd’hut les allumettes!” “Excuse me, sir, but please don’t upset that beer on the ‘fifth Bavarian army,’ the way matches are costin’ nowadays!"”—Le Péle-Méle (Paris). right over my haid, and I didn’t know what to do, ’ca’se my shot warn’t big ’nough to kill him; then I ’membered I could run a heap faster than Jule— so I jes’ up an’ fired!” — Harper's Magazine. Tourists—from Town and Trench Ponu—Il y a des civils qui rélent parce qu’y a trois jours dans le wagon! Soldier—Think of it! ‘They’re grumbling at having to spend three days on the train!— La Baionnette (Paris). Perilous Task—’Rastus was asked at the recruiting-station if he would like to join the aviation corps. “Lordy! boss,” was the answer, “s’posin’ dat ole machine was to stop right up in de air an’ dey’d want me to git out an’ crank de engine!”—London Opinion. RED TAPE Beating the Germans—The family of a reserve officer in the American army who lived in France before the war occupies a flat in Paris. His wife recently gave birth to a son. The officer was anxious to inform his mother- in-law of this happy event by cable. He wrote as follows: “Robert M——, Jr., eight pounds, ar- rived safely.” The censor was adamant. “I can- not pass that,” he said. ‘The rule is specific in forbidding mention of the names of Americans arriving in France.” The officer rewrote the message as follows: “Robert M——, Jr., eight pounds, born safely.” Whereupon the censor beamingly wrote his “O. K.” The German In- telligence Department was bafiled.— Collier’s.