Judge, 1918-06-01 · page 11 of 36
Judge — June 1, 1918 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page contains three pieces of WWI-era satire: **"Courtship in 1919"** mocks a suitor's marriage proposal by listing extreme wartime sacrifices—eating rubber bread, avoiding meat, working grueling hours, and most relevantly, claiming exemption from the draft due to physical disabilities (flat feet, poor vision, fainting spells). The humor lies in depicting a man so devoted to wartime restrictions that even his courtship reflects them, while simultaneously boasting of draft dodging. **"If You Don't Watch Out"** targets Herbert Hoover's food conservation program (Hoovervism), warning that government oversight of household rationing will police citizens' eating habits. The mock-threatening tone parodies children's cautionary verses. **"Inspiration"** uses an enslaved Black woman (Aunt Jemima, a stereotyped commercial icon) to motivate soldiers by comparing trench-cleaning to demeaning domestic labor—reflecting both period racism and dark military humor. All three satirize WWI's pervasive rationing, draft evasion, and social regimentation.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Sr ar $$ At inspection it is advisable even to refrain from damaging thoughts. It is no comfortable place for the man with a past. Inspection comes but once a week. It was set for Saturday so as not to interfere with the accepted bathing customs of the land. After the function is over and everything has been re- turned to its pre-inspection position, every member of the company hurries to the showers and prepares to clean and purge himself to take advantage of his week-end pass. Any man who thinks he has a hard lot when his wife makes him beat rugs at spring house-cleaning should avoid the army by all means. If he were forced to stand just one inspection he could return home with a string-halt step and the firm con- viction that he had more luck than the cuss who manages to get a seat in an interurban car during a holiday rush. (In his next Essay Private Shafer will tell about Kitchen Police duty) Courtship in 1919 By H. Wancer E was waiting for that well known moment in which he could spring the final word. At last it came. “Edna,” he harmonized, ‘I want you to become my wife. I do not eat meat but once a week, and then only for exercise. I detest to see white flour, finding rubber bread by far more nourishing than any other. Pork to me is like massaging a porcupine. If I was offered a Rolls-Royce I would ask ‘Can I trade it for a Ford?’ I work eight hours a day and three at night. If I saw a pack of cards I would mistake it for the parts of a jig-saw puzzle. In my pocket I have eight cards of War- Savings Stamps, two Liberty Bonds, a receipt for six sweaters I knitted, and a pass to the Ladies’ Candy Pull.” “But,” cried the woman, “‘how about the draft?” “T wear glasses, have flat feet, an extra floating rib, weigh ninety-eight pounds, usually sce double, red looks yellow to me, and I faint at the sight of blood.” “Joshua,” she softly whimpered, “my perfect man!” If You Don’t Watch Out By W. D. Nessit ISTER HERBERT HOOVER'S come to our house to stay, To check our meat an’ grocery bills an’ see how much we pay. Best count your every slice of bread, an’ weigh your butter, too, An’ cat meat on the proper day, an’ know what's best for you. An’ when you're eatin’ pie or cake, best look who is about For the Hooverses will git you ef you don’t watch out! InsPIRATION Aunt Jemima—Now, boys, just imagine you're cleaning out a German trench. ——