Judge, 1918-05-25 · page 7 of 36
Judge — May 25, 1918 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two satirical pieces from *Judge* magazine: **Top cartoon (Lane Campbell):** A humorous dialogue between Apollo and Asclepios (Greek god of medicine and his son) mocking medical practice. Apollo cynically advises that doctors don't need to actually cure patients—merely making them *think* treatment works matters. The satire suggests this ancient wisdom remains unchanged: modern medicine still relies on attractive nurses, impressive settings, and psychological suggestion rather than real efficacy. References to tooth-pulling for baldness and the "slogan" about prescribing anything when diagnosis is uncertain mock contemporary medical ignorance. **Bottom cartoon (F.L. Fitman):** An unrelated society joke about a woman named Henrietta whose past has been discovered, illustrated by two women gossiping. The humor depends on the era's social anxiety about women's reputations—the punchline suggests that hiding one's past is futile. Both pieces reflect early 20th-century skepticism toward medical authority and Victorian-era attitudes toward women's propriety.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“But, papa,” protested Askle- pios, “how will I cure them?” “That. isn’t important,” re- plied Apollo. “You only get them to think you can, and it doesn’t matter much what you give them or do tothem. About four thou- sand years from now they'll be pulling a man’s teeth to cure him of anything from baldness to in- growing toe-nails, so don’t be too particular. And see here, don’t you call me papa. Now this is important, and if you tell your mother I tipped you off to it I'll trim you toa fareyouwell. What you want to do is to get some good-looking girls in on this game, and have them soothe the aching brow. that part strong. Now go to it!” With some minor differences that is about the way it started, and the essentials of the game haven't changed in all the years that have passed. The temple, the stage settings and the girls—they call ’em nurses now—are all here. They may lose a few more patients now, and they’ve thought up more of a selection to pick from when it comes to a man that’s hankering for a rest with salary, but there’s mighty little differ- Drawn by Laxc Camppert Play vl Drazon by F. L. Frtmax “Isn't it surprising about Henrietta! Cater pillar—That’s nothing! month and I'll have an aeroplane, too. ence. They still have the slogan: “When you don’t know what the trouble is, prescribe anything quick and make him think you raised that particular ailment from a pup yourself, then maybe you'll run across the real trouble by accident later on.” Originally they called the tem- ples sanitaria, and trained a few dozen priests in long white robes —they still wear ’em, in hospitals —and got the girls rigged out in attractive clothes—sure they look good, now, too, don’t they?—and hired one of the local Damrosch’s to organize an orchestra, and bought some snakes to frighten the patients with. No, they don’t use snakes now, much, but they still scare the patient, and they took Apollo’s advice and went to it. Among the first parts of the treatment was the sacrifice of a chicken. Funny how the old stuff still goes! One of the initial things a doctor does now is to order a chicken sacrificed—and made into soup; that is only his bluff. It’s the same old sacrifice, and the nurse drinks the soup when the patient’s asleep. The next thing was to tell the patient that a demon Wait until next <= ey Who would have thought it?” “Nobody—absolutely! Yet it only proves that no matter how carefully a woman may hide her past, some friend is bound to find it!”