Judge, 1918-05-25 · page 23 of 36
Judge — May 25, 1918 — page 23: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several brief satirical items and one cartoon, typical of Judge's early-20th-century format: **"The Nobility in War Time"** (top): A French quote mocks European aristocracy—a criminal recognizes a "baron" because he robbed him years ago, suggesting the nobility's wealth is ill-gotten. **"Convicts" section**: Three short anecdotes about prisoners and criminals, using wordplay and irony. The "Epigrammatic" joke plays on "seven days" as a punchy sentence. **"Business" section**: A stenographer defends her poor work by sarcastically asking if her employer expected a competent employee for $10/week—commentary on wage exploitation. **"The Real Trick"**: A conductor admits to pocketing fallen coins from his commission scheme—commentary on worker dishonesty and incentive systems. **"The Supreme Argument"** (right cartoon): A French illustration shows a woman demanding payment (a sugar ration card, valuable during wartime) in exchange for marriage—satirizing wartime scarcity and transactional romance. The page reflects post-WWI skepticism about institutions, class, and commerce.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Nobility in War Time “Se dis qucest un baron; j'lui ai r’fait son portefeuille il y a trois ans!” “That guy’s a baron; I know because I lifted his pocketbook three years ago."”—La Baionnette (Paris). Ts | | CONVIC a Prisoner visitor—(sympathetically)— You poor fellow! You'll be glad when your time is up, won't you? Convict—Not particularly, miss. in for life.” —Snark’s Annual. I'm Epigrammatic—‘ That wasn’t a bad epigram on the magistrate’s part,” said the somewhat educated tramp who had been convicted for vagrancy. “What did he say?” asked the tramp's pal. ‘Seven days,” came the reply. “That ain’t no epigram, is it?” “I'm sure it is. I once asked a parson what an epigram was, and he said: “It’s a short sentence that sounds light, but gives you plenty to think about.”— Brooklyn Citizen. 2 nema ta ean ea BUSINESS Too Much to Expect—‘ Look here,” said the head of the firm, addressing the new stenographer, “this letter is all wrong. Your punctuation is very bad and your spelling is worse. I can’t afford to send out any such stuff to my clients.” “Well,” she replied, “I’m sorry if my work don’t suit you, but was you expect- in’ to get a Mrs. Noah H. Webster for $10 ?”—Dayton Ni The Real Trick—“ Do you think com- petition is the life of trade?” “Yes,” replied Mr. Dustin Stax. “But competition was mismanaged for a long time. The trick is to get people to come around with money in their hands and compete for a chance to buy some- thing.” —Washington Star. “All That Goes Up Must Come Down"’—An old lady who was riding on a strect-car in a small Ohio town was fascinated by the behavior of the con- ductor. Every time the conductor col- lected a fare he would throw the nickel up to the ceiling of the car, catch it, and put it into his pocket. Finally his actions so aroused her curiosity that when he Muu Monsieur: She: He: The Supreme Argument E: Que puis-je cous offrir encore? Ma carte de sucre. What will you give me if ¥marry you? My sugar card.—La Vie Parisienne (Paris). returned through the car past her seat, she grabbed his sleeve and inquired why he tossed the coins into the air. Laughing, he replied, “Well, madam, it’s this way. There’s only one car on this line and I took the job on commis- sion, so when I throw the nickels up all that land on the bell-cord go to the com- pany, and all that come down I get.”— Harper's Magazine. Snubbing Dr. Osler—Junior partner —What'’s your idea in employing elderly men? Senior partner—They’re too old to go in for joy riding, dancing parties, girls or tennis, and that makes ’em fine for work, comichooks.