Judge, 1918-05-25 · page 20 of 36
Judge — May 25, 1918 — page 20: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple brief satirical pieces about soldiers during World War I, mocking both military life and the home front: **"Confused"** jokes about a recruit unable to distinguish left from right—typical "dumb soldier" humor. **"His Inspiration"** features a Scottish soldier ("Jock") who reveals he acts bravely to protect his War Loan investment—satirizing financial self-interest masquerading as patriotism. **"Her First Day at the London War Office"** shows a woman's overwhelming first experience at a government office, reflecting women's new wartime workplace roles. **"The Prussian Laboring Man's Opinion"** is anti-German propaganda, depicting a Prussian worker speaking broken English, reinforcing enemy stereotypes. **"His Ambition"** tells of an American wanting to enlist despite a glass eye—satirizing patriotic determination and dark humor about disability. The remaining pieces mock soldiers' inability to communicate locations and wartime romance bureaucracy. Overall, the page reflects WWI-era popular humor: poking fun at military incompetence, questioning true motives for heroism, and stereotyping enemies and allies alike.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SOLDIERS | Confused—The squad of recruits was particularly dense and the sergeant got more and more exasperated. One man appeared quite incapable of telling his right hand from his left Said the sergeant at last, ‘Now, yer bloomin’ idiot, hold yer hands in front of yer. Twist them one over the other. Stop! Now tell me which is yer left hand and which is yer right.” The recruit looked blankly at his hands. for a moment. “I'm blowed if I know,” he said have gone and mixed ’em up.”— body's Magazine. His Inspiration—Lady (to soldier who has been decorated for bravery)—And what inspired you to act in that heroic manner? Jock—Weel, ye maun ken, ma'am, Ah’ve put ma money in the War Loan, an’ Ah want to keep it sa -London Opinion. Her First Day at the London War Office How Miss Smith felt when she began her duties as a Whitehall clerk London Opinion. The Prussian Laboring Man's Opinion * Zie crijuit, mein Junge,—spreck now maar ‘ow, my boy,—speak tenkraker (Amsterdam). His Ambition—Paul Gary of Ander- son, Indiana, is all American, with the exception of a glass eye. The substitute optic alien. Gary tried to enlist in the United States Marine Corps at their recruiting station, but was rejected when his infirmity was discovered by the sergeant in char “Didn't you know that the loss of a eye would prevent’ your enlisting?” asked the sergeant. “L thought it might,” explained Gary, “but this glass blinker is the only part of me that was made in G y. and [ want to take it back.”” He was advised to mail it.—Argonaut. A Good Beginning—Place—Hostess House, Camp Dodge. Phone Ringing—This is the Hostess House, Mrs. Dunshee speaking. Voice from Des Moines—I am a cor- poral from Can you locate a I am sure I can, what shall I tell him? Voice—Well, I t could I go out there s, [can arrange everything for you, but you must have a license, and of course the girl. Voice (wearily over the phone)—Well. the girl is all I have so far. Thank you, good-by.—V. W. C. A. War-Work Bul- letin. to get married, A Bit Hazy—A certain British soldier's letter runs thus “Tam sorry I cannot tell you where I am, because I am not allowed to say. But I venture to state that I am not where I was, but where I was before I left here to go where I have just come from.” it-Bits.