Judge, 1918-05-25 · page 12 of 36
Judge — May 25, 1918 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century Judge humor: **"Wives"** by A.B. Boorn mocks the institution of marriage through exaggerated misogyny—presenting wives as decorative objects matching home décor, incapable of cooking despite being married for that reason, and valued primarily for preventing infidelity. The humor relies on absurdist logic and deliberately unflattering characterizations. **The cartoon by H.C. Greening** shows two impoverished artists discussing their empty refrigerator containing only beer—a joke about struggling creative workers during economically difficult times. **"All About Playwrights"** satirizes theatrical writers as producing formulaic work requiring only paper, revolvers brandished on stage, and discussion of "the Big Scene in Act Three"—mocking the melodramatic conventions of contemporary theater. **"Shrapnel"** by Benjamin De Casseres contains brief, cynical observations about World War I: German imitation, Russian strategy failures, and mocking references to Kaiser Wilhelm II—contemporary wartime political commentary typical of Judge's satirical approach.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Wives By A. B, Boorn Y woman that a man marries is A called his wife. Often she might more fittingly be called his mother, his lisping baby girl, or even his preferred creditor, but the one term seems to hold. It is purely legal in its significance and has no descriptive quality. Wives are nice to have around the house if they fit into the color scheme and do not attract attention to themselves by loud talk- ing. A blonde wife goes best with a white and gold breakfast room and white and gold china. A brunette wife combines more suc- cessfully with a drawing room in dark-toned mahogany—if possible, a grand piano. Wives are of all kinds. Some write, some go in for music. Almost all paint. It is said that there are wives who can cook, but I question that statement—at least, after marriage. Anyhow, no really good business man would marry a woman because she could cook. For five or ten dollars a week you can get a splendid cook. Why pay more? Wives are wonderful social mentors. On the way borhood a man can learn more from his wife on manners home from a little evening party right in the neigh- and deportment than he ever picked up in all his years of knocking about the world alone. ‘The only real reason for wives is to keep off the other women. Drawn by Barxspare Rocers 15t Artist—We cannot even afford ice! ond Artist—What of it—we haven't any food to spoil, you know 1st Artist—No—but there's two cases of beer in the refrigerator. All About Playwrights By Kexxetu L. Roserts PLAYWRIGHTS are the sole support of that large and peevish body of con- firmed faultfinders known as dramatic critics. It is a very simple matter to be a playwright, all that is needed being plenty of paper, ink and pens, the knowledge that suspense may be obtained by having one of the characters ostentatiously draw a re- volver from his hip pocket and look down the barrel to see whether it is loaded, and a stock of chatter about the Big Scene in the Third Act. It isn’t a bad thing for the play- wright to have one or two ideas as well, though these aren’t at all essential. Once a playwright has written a play, he only needs to get a theatrical manager to read it and decide to produce it, just as a mouse only needs a bigger tail, larger hind legs and a few increases in size to be a kangaroo. Shrapnel By Bexjamin De Casseres HE German soul is purely imitative ex- cept in the matter of the humanitie: Posterity itself is mobilizing for the Allies. In Russia the Germans are trying to put out a fire with oil. Even the pacifists are now beginning to by H. C. Greenixe dye their blood red. He Picken It Out or THE AIR Time flies except in Germany; there it “What's the matter? Why I was playing left field in the ; walks backward. what I thought was a high fly coming, and made an ‘out’ of it Emperor William is trying to eat marble. comicbooks.com