Judge — May 18, 1918 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

What breed do you prefer?"—Le Péle- Méle (Paris). | PREACHERS | Waiting—A country clergyman who was nailing up a refractory creeper observed a young lad watching him for a long time with obvious interest. “Well, my young friend,” he said smil- ingly, ‘‘are you trying to get a hint or two on gardening?” “Noa!” said the youth. “Are you surpised to see me working like this? “Noa! I do be waiting to sce what a parson do say when he hammers his thoomb!”—Chicago Herald. Forethought—A _ country minister s driving a spirited horse through the age, when he overtook the local phy- sician on foot. “Jump in, doctor!” he said, pulling up. “I’ve got a horse here that goes pretty well.” The doctor jumped in and the parson drove off. The horse did not go well and ended in tipping over the carriage and spilling both the occupants. The doctor rose to his feet and felt him- self all over to see if he was injured. “Look here,” he exclaimed, “what do you mean by inviting me to ride behind a horse like that?” “Well, you see,” gasped the parson, “luckily this time there’s no bones broken; but I always like to have a doc- tor with me when I drive that horse!” — Chicago News. Wanted a Substitute—“ John,” said the clergyman to his new man, “do you— er—ever employ strong language?” The new man blushed, self-consciously. “Well, sir,” he faltered, “I—I may be a little carelesslike in my speech at times.” “Ah,” murmured the clergyman, “I’m sorry, John—I'm sorry! But we will converse on that at some more fitting time. Just now I want you to go to Jenkison & Blenkinson and settle this bill for repairing my summer house. And you might talk to them, John, as if it were your own bill, in a carelesslike y. Will you, John?”—Pitts- burgh Chronicle-Telegraph. The German Mother Hubbard (“The quantity of wheat scized was insig- nificant, and to obtain it the German soldiers have created among the Ukrainian people an undying hatred of Germany.""—Daily Press.) Old Kaiser Cain Went to Ukraine To get his starved people some corn; But when he got there ‘The Ukraine was bare— And the Huns wish they'd never been born. —London Opinion. “Doesn't the War get on your nerves?” “O—o, frightfully, frightfully! It puts me clean off my drive!” —Passing Show (Lon- don). COURTSHIP | Too Bad—‘“Too bad about Tom and the girl he’s engaged to. Neither one of them is good enough for the other.”” “Where did you get that idea?” “T’ve been talking the matter over with both families.” —Boston Transcript. One on Pa—Parent—Maria, what was you and young Gassam doin’ last night when your little brother caught you? Clever daughter—Nothing, pa, except quietly discussing practical experimenta- tion of osculatory theories. Parent—And that precious young rascal told me he was a-kissin’ you!— Baltimore American. Wanted a Change—Old Roxleigh— You marry my daughter? Why, you are supported by your father. Suitor—Yes, sir, but my gov’nor is tired of supporting me he says, and I thought I’d get into another family.— Boston Transcript. Twice Lucky—She—Tom, do you remember the night you asked papa for my hand, how fortunate you were? He—Perfectly—he asked me to lend him $10 and I didn’t have it.—Boston Transcript. comichooks.c