Judge, 1918-05-18 · page 14 of 36
Judge — May 18, 1918 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short humorous pieces typical of Judge magazine's satirical humor: **"Rowdy's Achievement"**: A folksy anecdote about a frontier child's toughness—he allegedly slept through a fire in the stove and emerged cursing like the older kids. It's rural Americana humor, celebrating rough-and-tumble frontier resilience. **"Parting of the Ways"** and **"The Limit"**: Brief one-liners poking fun at middle-class anxieties: Blinks can't choose between a wife and automobile (satirizing consumerism); the daughter married an unambitious man. **"Altered"** (the song): The main satirical piece. "Percy" transforms from an effete, pampered wealthy boy into a masculine soldier through military service. He gains a tan, eats heartily, befriends working-class men (bakers, boiler-makers), and develops physical strength. The satire celebrates how military service "masculinizes" and democratizes privileged young men, teaching them the value of working-class manhood and physical toughness—reflecting early-20th-century American anxieties about upper-class softness and militarism's "character-building" benefits.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Rowdy’s Achievement By Tom P. Morcan ¢ Y baby, Rowdy, is a world beater!” boasted Mr. Gap Johnson, of Rumpus Ridge, Ark. “He crawled into the oven to hide tuther day when his Maw wasn’t looking, and drug the door shut after him. I reckon he fell asleep, for when wife kindled a fire in the stove about an hour later he didn’t make no objection for a spell. And then he came busting forth like a bat out of Torment, and, although he can hardly talk plain under ordinary circumstances, he was cussing every bit as loud and clear as any of the big kids could have done. Aw, I tell you, Rowdy is a good ’un when he actually unbelts!”’ ‘Partirg of the Ways “Blinks can’t come to a decision.” “ About what ?” “He got a raise last month and now he can support either a wife or an auto.” The Limit She—Did your daughter marry a rising man? He—Say, that chap wouldn’t rise if the band played the “Star Spangled Banner” at the beginning of the seventh inning. Drawn by C. F. Peters “T just love it, but $95 is rather expensive when one is sup- posed to be economizing.” “You might look at some more expensive ones first, just to ease your conscience.” Drawn by R. B. Fuuten Hevpinc Fatuer Altered By Bertox Bratey OU wouldn’t know your Percy now, There is tan upon his snow-white brow, When he came he was a sissy And his ways were very prissy. But he’s undergone a change somehow; He was really quite a model Of a perfect molly-coddle; But you wouldn’t know your Percy now. You wouldn’t know your Percy now, At first he scorned the army chow, He was used to dainty dishes Cooked according to his wishes. But he went upon a hike—and wow! You should see him fill his mess-kit With the food to swell his weskit, No, you wouldn’t know vour Percy now. You wouldn’t know your Percy now, He was one to whom the swells kow-tow, Now he pals with Mike the baker, And with Tim the boiler-maker, And with Jack who sailed a garbage scow; What the army made him see was They were better men than he was, And you wouldn’t know your Percy now. You wouldn’t know your Percy now, His chest was thirty-two, I vow. Now it bulges like a barrel And he cleaned up Pat O’Farrel In a recent little friendly row; For at last he’s joined the crowd of Husky chaps worth being proud of And you wouldn’t know your Percy now!