Judge, 1918-05-18 · page 10 of 36
Judge — May 18, 1918 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical article by A. B. Booth mocks married men as uniformly dull and incompetent. The author compares husbands unfavorably to dogs, claiming they're harder to train than puppies and embarrass their wives by appearing at social gatherings in mismatched clothing, unable to explain themselves coherently. The piece ridicules husbands' domestic incompetence—leaving newspapers on floors (something their mothers wouldn't tolerate), reading recipes aloud from women's pages—while suggesting wives tolerate them primarily for appearance's sake, like carrying a fashionable cane. The accompanying cartoons and anecdotes continue this theme. "Reversed on Entirely Legal Appeal" shows a man being ejected from a building. A lower joke ("Misunderstood") plays on a job applicant mishearing an alcohol question as an offer. The top illustration references classical Greek imagery ironically, contrasting dignified ancient culture with modern domestic squabbling.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Traced from an Ancient Wash-Boiler, by H. Pater Tue Launpress’s Strike at Camp Atuens, on Way Generar Cuin-Spixacn Hap to Wasu His Own Socks Husbands—A Necessary Evil By A. B. MMEDIATELY after the wedding ceremony men become dull and uninteresting and turn into hus- bands. Husbands are all just alike, and can be sorted out of any social gathering by the same set ex- pression about the eyes and mouth. It is more trouble to teach a husband to fetch and carry than a fox terrier puppy, and as a rule the puppy acts much better when there is company around. Husbands wait until some Sun morning when you have distinguished guests with you for the week- end. They burrow in the back of the closet and pull things off the high shelves and go through the rag-bag. Then they appear at the breakfast table in the coat of one suit, the trousers of another, and a fancy vest, with an inch-wide tie tied in a four-in-hand as a_ finish. And when you advertise your horror in a frantic effort to convince the visitors that he is suffering from temporary aberration, any and every husband will assume an air of bewildered innocence and say: “Why, what’s the matter with this? It’s just what I wear every Sunday morning when there’s no one here!” Husbands always keep the Sunday papers on the floor. No man ever does this until he is married. His mother will not let him. Husbands read to you the printed recipes they find on the woman’s page of the Draven by Oxsox Lowen Reversep on Entinecy Lecat Aprean Bootu paper. They get enthusiastic about some dish they have always declared they would rather die than eat, and Now there's an idea for you. have something like that?” Women acquire a husband for much the same reason that a man gets a cane: They are a fearful Bother but one presents a better appearance with one in hand. Why can’t we ever Fifty-fifty HE 6 o'clock whistle had just sounded at the great manufacturing plant. The skep- tic drew his watch and pointed to the minute hand. “Look at the trickery of these great cor- porations,” he said. “‘ Note that the whistle blows one minute after 6 o'clock. They gain a minute’s unrewarded toil from cach man in the plant. There are 5,000 men, we'll say. thousand minutes mean*cighty- three hours, or more than ten full working days. Do you see the robbery of it “IT do not,” said the Cheerful Idiot. “They might gain ten full working days by tooting the whistle a minute back of the schedule, but you don’t figure the otherend of theargument: I'll bet there has been twenty-five y of company time wasted over there to-day arguing the prob bilities of the baseball season. Ars, Misunderstood Proprictor—Do you drink? Applicant for job—Thank you, sir, I'll have a small one! comicbooks.com