Judge — May 11, 1918 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Jupcepays $1 each for original jokes sent by soldiers and sailors and accept- ed by the The Way of These Plumbers By Private ALLAN J. Bucktey, Offce of the Division Surgeon, Camp Devens ROOKIE, who was a steam- fitter in civil life, was as- signed to the Quartermaster’s Corps almost immediately after his arrival at camp. As there happened to be a lot of work for steamfitters about that time, the recruit was given plenty to do, and consequently didn’t have an opportunity to learn much about military courtesy. He was detailed to repair a leak in a steam pipe in the Captain’s office. Clad in his blue denims and with a few tools under his arm, he entered the office. The officers were busy, so he stood there for a few moments, shifting from one foot to the other until his patience became exhausted. Finally he exclaime “Where the devil are those pipes I’m supposed to fix?” A horrified Lieutenant jumped up and indignantly thundered: ‘Young man, don’t you know that that is not the way to address an officer?” The re- cruitavas taken aback for an instant, but smilingly said: “Aw, that’s all right, mister, I’m not a soldier, I’m a steam- fitter.” Drawn by H. Keounert, Q. M.C., Barracks 6: Punston, Ka. Mary had a fountain pen From which the ink did flow, And every place her Sammy went, A note was sure to go. Draen by LauREN Stour, Co. E107 Tout aud Deck WheezesMilitary and Naval Tarps Editor. Each week, also, Jupce awards $5 for the best original joke re- ceived. Merely Delayed By Linut. Watson Wurre. Officers’ Class, ‘amp Stanley THe colored troops in the na- tional army are showing up well. Due, perhaps to some innate sense of the dramatic, they learn to stand at attention and execute “squads right” with great punc- tilio. Nor is the good nature and desire to please, so cha: eristic of the negro race, found wanting Spartanburg, S.C This Week's Lucky Man—Hi By Sect. Ger, Aviation Section, Signal Corps, Scott Aviation Field, Belleville, Ill Mepicat Lizutenast—dnd what is your ailment? Aviation Recrurr—The roof of my mouth is sunburnt, sir. Mepicat. Liectexant—The roof of your mouth? Aviation Recrurt—Yes, sir, Mee been watching the airships. A Change for the Better y Dow M. Ketter, Co. A, 188d U. 8. Infantry UR Sergeant had been to the Offi- cers’ School learning the ins and outs of the hand grenades. In turn, it was his duty to instruct us, so one morning he said: “Boys, tomorrow we shall have hand grenades.” After explaining all about them, he repeated, by way of impress- ing the instruction: tomorrow, then, we shall have grenades.” Just at this juncture, a drowsy rookie who apparently hadn’t been paying the slightest attention, spoke up stupidly: “What's that we’re going to have?” Thoroughly impatient, the Sergeant snapped: “Grenades! Grenades! We're going to have grenades tomorrow.” “Thank God,” said the rookie, they’re going to give us something be- sides cornbeef and cabbage. One of His Order By Major C. W. Russeit, Rich Field, Weeo, Terar Sentry—Halt! Who's there? Kitchen police (carrying a pan of pota- toes)—K. P. Sentry—* Advance, Knight of Pythias, with the countersign.” Infantry, Camp Wodaworth, in the parade ground. Witness the following story which comes from Camp Tra An old-time “hard-boiled” sergeant was drilling a squad of and initiating them into the mysteries of “squads right.” One un- fortunate darky was a bit dilatory in ex- ecuting this movement, and the Ser- geant hurled a volume of language at his head which would have abashed an army mule, and the effect of which was intended to hurry his movements. But the negro grinned, with the sweet forbearance of one intent upon his duty. “ Yassa, boss,” he murmured, “Yassa, I’se a comin’ right aroun’, Force of Habit By Haxey Wycxorr, Sergt.Co. C, 209th M.@. Battalion Captain (angrily)—Button up that coat; you'll catch cold. Married recruit(absently)—Yes,my dear. Astounpinc! Drown by Yeoman Frep. F. Fé tyleania Sailor—This is one of our new ships. She's only a year old. . Country Gent—Gosh! I'll bet she'll be a whopper when she’s twenty-one! comicbooksscprs