Judge — May 11, 1918 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SE ~— Pe | c's one thing about this ’ere Bill; it’s ’elped improve me geogerphy Tatiler (London). WORDS Pa’s Answer—‘“What’s the proleta- riat, pa?” “It's that part of Russia they’re all fighting so about. You ought to be ashamed of yourself not to read the papers, son, about what’s doing in the world.” —Baltimore American. The Judge Got Her, Though—An old lady walked into the Judge’s office. “Are you the Judge of Reprobates?” she inquired. “T am the Judge of Probate,” replied his honor, with a smile. “Well, that’s it. I expect,” answered the old lady. ‘You see,” she went on confidentially, “my husband died de- tested and left several little infidels, and I want to be their executioner!’’— Chicago News. A Hard One—A country politician in Ohio was elected school commissioner. One day he visited a school and told the teacher he desired to examine the boys and girls. A spelling-class was just then at work, so the commissioner said he would in- quire into the proficiency of that organ- ization. The teacher gave him a spelling- book, and the pupils lined up in front of the mighty man. He thumbed the book. Then, pointing at the first boy, he said: “Spell eggpit.” “E-g-g-p-i-t,” slowly spelled the boy. “Wrong,” said the commissioner, and, pointing to the next boy, said “ You spell eggpit.”” “E-g-g-p-i-t,” spelled the boy. “Wrong. You spell it.” The next boy spelled it the same way, and the next and the next. “Bad spellers,” commented the com- missioner to the distressed teacher. “Why, sir,” she protested, “they have all spelled eggpit correctly!” “They have not.” “Will you let me sce the word in the book?” the teacher asked. “I am sure they have.” “Here it is,” said the commissioner, and he pointed to the word “Egypt.” — Harper's Magazine. More Offensive Stuff Hindenburg—Ricordatesi che il 1° Aprile dooremo essere a Parigi. Sard un bel pesce, generale!” Hindenburg—Remember that we must be in Paris next year by the first of April. “It will only be another April fool, general!”—L’Asino (Rome). American spider (just come over)—Gee whiz! Some fly!—Bystander (London). ares Ne erase og SOLDIERS | Formal Detail—An army officer’s wife wrote toa R. A. M. C. officer saying her child was suffering during teething. She addressed the letter “Dr. Brown.” The recipient returned it with the Te- mark that he should be addressed, “ Bri- gade - Surgeon Lieutenant - Colonel Brown.” Whereupon the lady wrote back: “Dear Brigade-Surgeon Licutenant- Colonel Brown: I am sorry about mis- take.—Yours, May Jones. “P. $.—Please bring your sword to lance baby’s gums.” —Tit-Bits. An Awful Time — Patience — And Bob’s over in the trenches, is he? Patrice—That’s right. Patience—Having an awful time of it, I suppose? Patrice—He is that. He’s studying French.—Yonkers Statesman. They Certainly Have—Knicker—The Kaiser says the Germans must have the will to endure. Bocker—Well, they certainly have the William to endure.—New York Sun.