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Judge, 1918-05-04 · page 36 of 38

Judge — May 4, 1918 — page 36: what you’re looking at

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Judge — May 4, 1918 — page 36: Judge, 1918-05-04

What you’re looking at

This page contains **"The Heroine's Choice,"** a humorous poem by Walter G. Doty satirizing romantic fiction tropes. The author-character complains that his heroine rejects the noble, heroic hero despite his fine speeches and good looks, preferring instead the villainous man because he shows actual passion and constantly devises new schemes. The satire critiques overstuffed romantic conventions—the predictable "handsome hero with distinguished air" versus the dramatically flawed but energetic antagonist. The heroine's pragmatic preference for cunning action over hollow nobility inverts reader expectations. The page also includes brief humor pieces ("Prize Liar" mocking Bible knowledge, "Taste" poking fun at loud manners) alongside advertisements for diamonds, a hotel, and print services. The advertisements suggest *Judge's* 1918 readership was moderately affluent.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Correct “Eddie,” said the teacher, “what is the meaning of the word ‘fractious?’”” “Tt’s the way a feller feels when he’s been studyin’ fractions.’* Taste Hokus—Pneurich has extremely loud taste in dressing. Pokus—Not a marker to the loud taste he displays in eating a plate of soup. You can now aftord to wear GenuineDIAMONDS at Barnard Impojgty tells you all you want to know about diamonds— . howto buy them,safely and intelligently —whydiamondsaretheworld’sbest investment—how I save you 35% by direct importing and eliminat- ing all middlemen—how because my business comes from all over the world, I can succeed in spite of small profits—how I can afford rear to Sell mountings at factory cost —how I offer diamonds in seven qualities and all carat sizes, so that you can now afford to wear genuine diamonds at my less than wholesale price. Send No Money! You take no risk under my free examination plan. Just select your diamond and favorite setting from Tay book and | will shipit sothat you can examine it with- ‘out the slightest obligation to buy. My costly De Luxe Book of Diamonds shows the world’smost sensationaldia- mond bargainsand I back them withthe only Bankable Money-Back GUARANTEE Issued only by Barnard— Diamond Headquarters permits you to cash in your diamond investment within ‘one year and to exchange at full value at any time. A written legal certificate of carat weight, color and value. Prices going up every day, save money by writing immediately! Barnard & Co. ‘ Diamond Headquarters N.W. Cor. State & Monree Sts.,Dept. 2988), CHICAGO, U. Joha A. Seicher, Present The Heroine’s Choice By Warter G. Doty AID the Author: “TI can’t do much with that heroine of mine. I have made for her a hero full of speeches bold and fine. I have made him tall and handsome with a most distinguished air And have filled his life with troubles, but she doesn’t seem to care. He’s as full of noble sayings as a cheese is full of skippers. But she tramples that poor heart of his beneath her dainty slippers. She is bound to wed the villian who's a fiend in human form, ‘For’, she argues, ‘he has proved his love to be both true and warm; And his plots are really clever—such an energetic man! Just as soon as one pet scheme is foiled, he springs another plan. If he ceased his wooing of me, sure I'd woo him; For he isn’t like the hero—he has got some ginger to him.’ ” I am almost Such Dreams “Shakesp are made of “My wife cooks a lot of it.” e speaks of the stuff that dreams. Prize Liar, Anyhow Sunday-school teacher —Name mentioned in the Bible. Tommy Tuffnut—Anani. a fisherman “The mission of this paper is to preach the gospel of cheerfulness.” ee Sleicher, See’ Brunewick Building, 825 ) Maxwell tne are protected by copyright in both at Britain, wind at any newsstand, the publish ization if that fact be promptly reported letter 10 cents per copy; 1917 States, its dependencies, and Mex- n Provinces add 50 cents a year for postage; to unsolicited manuscripts nied by full postage for Acertising Depertinent Offices Reunswick New York Tremont Building» ~ - = ~ = Boston Building - - - Schweinler Press, “No Man’s Land” By David Robinson HIS clever picture, in full colors, just as it A ppeared on the cover of a recent issue of y mat, 11x 14, ready makes an attractive decoration for any man’s “Land.” It will be mailed post free upon receipt of twenty-five cents, cash or stamps. Write Judge Art Print Department 225 Fifth Avenue New York City The Woman Who Laughs By Tue Misantunore HE is not at all attractive. She has no charm. I do not like the way she does her hair. She has no sparkle. I do not like the way her dinners are served. All the domestic graces are lack- ing in her personality And yet I sympathize with her. About all she can do is to laugh at her husband's jokes. It’s about all anyone can do to laugh at her husband’s jokes. Answers to Correspondents “Here’s a woman writes me she doesn’t know which way to turn.”” end her a copy of the lations.” traffic regu- Hotel Darseilles Broadway and 103 Street Aco Dork Cite A MAGNIFICENT FIREPROOF HOTEL YY ENTRANCE AT DOOR Room & Bath, ' $2.50 per day up CLIFFORD A. STORM, MGR. Booklet on request WRITE THE WORDS FORA SONG We write music and assist in securing publisher's ac ceptance. Submit poems on war, love or any subject. 638 South Dearborn ste Sulte Sade CMVCNCS, TLLINOIS