Judge, 1918-05-04 · page 31 of 38
Judge — May 4, 1918 — page 31: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**Main Cartoon: "Goat-Getting" by Strickland Gillilan** This is a humorous poem about young Johnny Sloat who convinces his father to buy a goat. Johnny's real motive becomes clear: he shrewdly visits neighbors with sickly babies and persuades them that goat's milk would cure their ailments. He then returns home with contracts for three daily quarts of milk—a profitable scheme. The punchline: the goat he purchased is male ("a billy"), not a nanny, making the milk supply impossible. The joke satirizes both childhood entrepreneurship and the folk belief that goat's milk cured infant digestive problems—a common 19th-early 20th century remedy. It also mocks gullible neighbors easily swayed by a clever child's sales pitch. **Page Context**: The remainder consists primarily of advertisements, military camp correspondence praising Judge magazine, and advice columns—typical for wartime 1918 Judge issues, which promoted patriotic morale-boosting content for troops.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ay 4, 1918 Goat-Getting By Stricktann GILuitan Viw now the case of Johnny Sloat, Who said unto his doting daddy: “Please, Father, may I have a goat? “Sure thing,” said Pa. “Go to it, Laddie!” Ma Sloat was peeved and said: “My Dear! ‘Twill be a never-ending bother!” Pa said: “We'll keep it, never fear. For kids and goats adore each other.” Shrewd John then called on Neighbor Brown, Within whose home an infant yammered Because its food would not stay down— For nanny milk that baby clamored. Station a box- ( Next thing he went to Mrs. Jones Whose puny bairn was under-nourished And told her in persuasive tones How it on goat-milk might have flourished. Anon to Smith’s he went, and also Persuaded them their baby hankered For goat-milk—“ that’s what makes it bawl so!” Another patron there he anchored. e bird ‘this is Then swiftly home hied Johnny Sloat With contracts for three quartlets daily. He went and pungled for his goat Kaiser | And led her homeward proudly, gaily. Belfast dsworth But now young Johnny a And feeling most amazing silly: The goat whose milk he had engaged Turned out to be a blooming billy! ths of Semper Femina By Euas Lirwersax THE greatest tribute one woman ever pays to another includes a “but” somewhere. Although every actress likes a generous supply of lines, her part must not be too obviously padded. The difference between an ingenue and a widow resolves itself into a question a marksmanship. Woman is self-conscious even in her greatest joys or profoundest griefs. She uires a hand mirror and a powder puff tomake her big moments really telling. EE a fur ick. him.— How He Knew EGYPTIAN DEITIES “The Utmost in Plain End or Cork Typ Rople of culture and refinement invariai PREFER. Deities to any other cigarette. 25* Any se ee nt 3 “You claim no exemption.” “How did you guess it “Lhave seen your wife.” 3 9@ PRESS CLIPPING =» | ROMEIKE’S ***8ugexu Anack. | We will send you all newapapes clippings which May appear about our friends, or any sab ect on whic yous ay want to be “up-to- date.” Every hewspap and periodical of im- vn the portance in the United States and Europe is searched. Terms, $5.00 for 100 notices. “The FLENRY ROMEIKE, 106-110 Seventh Ave., New York cept SO; = PIOTEL EMPIRE erator) BLOADWAY at 63rd Street, NEW YOR coffee Bi T conveniently situated hotel at popular rates in the. mn with lor or 2)$2- 50. , Manager. Are You Helping the Campaign of Cheer? Camp Lrprary, U. Camp Kearny, CALIFORNIA. Mr. Perriton Maxwell, Editor, Jupce, New York City. Dear Sir: This will acknowledge your fore- thought in forwarding a package of the latest issue of JupcE to the Camp Kearny Library. I can tell you from our experience that the men never permit JuDGE to remain idle on the shelves and that when kind friends send us their copies, there are eager hands awaiting to carry them away. The boys at the base hospital especially enjoy the cheer which the magazine brings. Yours very truly, J. H. Quince, Camp Librarian Camp Hancock, Aucusta, Ga. Editor Jupcr, New York City. Dear Sir: Inclosed please find $.25 in stamps for which please send me one copy of your picture “‘No Man’s Land,” as per your ad- vertisement of last week. Almost every man in this company wants a picture of “No Man’s Land” and I was elected a committee of one to get a sample. Junce sure does drive the blues away, down here, and every week brings a new fight to see who will get JUDGE first. Wishing Ju a long and prosperous life, Tam, Since y yours, Joun D. Austen, Supply Sergeant Co. H., 111th Infantry. Some People When money talks some people can’t hear themselves think. Eyesight By Kexwetu L, Roserts HERE are as many varieties of eyesight as there are recipes for making welsh rabbit. In one man’s eyes, a girl with dark brown hair and a plump figure will appear per- fectly beautiful; and when she refuses to smile on him, he will meditate committing suicide in various hideous ways. In another man’s eyes, the same girl will seem strikingly unpleasant; and if he is forced to dance with her, his anger | is such that he longs to kill someone. One man sees a statue of the Venus de Milo asa marvel of loveliness. Another regards it as a broken and undesirable piece of bric-a-brac. One man views a cast-iron dog on the front lawn as a rare adornment. Another sces it as a blot on the face of nature. People who look on their homes, their children, their dogs, their manners or their garments as the acme of perfection should re- member that eyesight varies widely, and that other people probably look at them differently. Nickel-plate 3 Will stop the most vicious dog (or man) without permanent injury. WANTED—AN IDEA! WHO CAN THINK OF SOME simple thing to patent? Protect your ideas, they may bring vou wealthy Write for “Needed Inventions” and * “How to et Your Patent and Your Money.” Randolph & Co., Patent Attorneys, Dept. 129, Washington, D. C.