Judge — May 4, 1918 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

this small box of bonbons, my first and only love. You know Mr. Hoover advo- cates the conservation of sweets.” “T agree with Mr. Hoover.” “Patriotic girl!” “You get no kiss tonight.”—Dayton Herald. Ld Papa's Query—‘Very _ interesting conversation in here?” asked papa, sud- denly thrusting his head through the conservatory window, where Ethel, Mr. ‘Tomkins and little Eva sat very quietly. “Yes, indeed,” said Ethel, ready on the instant witha reply. “Mr. Tomkins and I were discussing our kith and kin, weren't we, Eva?” “Yeth, they wath,” replied little E “Mr. Tomkinth thaid, ‘May I have « kith?’ and Ethel said ‘You kin!’”— Vancouver Daily Province. Incompatibility—Jones—What caused their love to become lukewarm? Smith—Incompatibility of temperature -cold feet and hot words.—The Club Fellow. Or Something—“Oh, papa! Couldn’t you take Fred into your business? He's so ambitious, and we are to be marricd soon, too.” ¢ -what could he do?” “Why, couldn’t you’ make him presi- dent of the business or something?”— Brooklyn Citizen. Dull Evening Somewhere—“Excuse The Higher Abnegation Visiting Cook—How are you off for grub here? But I understand there’s a bit of a shortage upstairs. Kitchen Hostess—Oh, we get enough. —Passing Show (London). Cold Comfort—‘ Why did she break off the engagement “Tt was this way. When he was leav- ing for France, she said, ‘If you are wounded, Henry, promise me that you won't fall in love with your nurse.’” “And of course he swore he would re- sist the most beauteous maiden who ever graced a hospital?” “No. He merely said he would do his best.”—Birmingham A ge-Herald. Wartime Effishiency * Tout étant hors de prix, M. Duplantoir, pécheur enragé, al’espoir, par ce moyen, de remédier Gila cherté des victuailles. As everythii 0 eat is sky-high, Monsieur Duplantoir, an indefatigable fisherman, has invented this device for solving the food problem.—L¢ Péle-Méle (Paris). * The pun is deadlier than the sword. SLACKERS | A Mistaken Conception—‘ What's wrong with Glithers?”” “He has a mistaken conception of his duty as a citizen.” “Yes?” “He won't put his shoulder to the wheel. He wants other people to do that, while he stands on one side and jots down the revolutions it makes Age-Herald. number of ” — Birmingham The Slacker’s Load—“De bigges’ load some folks has got ter carry,” ob- served Brother Williams, “‘is a grip full of excuses fer gettin’ out 0’ doin’ de right thing at de right time. Fer instance, ef it’s wood cuttin’ day, dey ain’t got no axe; an’ ef dey got a axe, dey ain’t no grindstone ter sharpen it; an’ ef de grindstone’s dar, de well’s gone dry an’ dey’s no water ter wet it!"’—Adanta Constitution. Cornered—“And you claim exemp- tion on the ground that you are the breadwinner for your family?” “Ves, sir.” “Isn't it a fact that your wife con- ducts a prosperous boarding house and you haven’t had a steady job in years?” “Er—yes, sir. Breadwinner is my offi- cial title. Confound the luck, I didn’t say I was living up to it!” —Birmingham Age-Herald. comicbookszcom,