Judge, 1918-05-04 · page 13 of 38
Judge — May 4, 1918 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several humorous vignettes typical of early 20th-century satirical magazines: **"Aging Backward"** satirizes changing romantic standards—a young woman asks if her partner will love her when old and gray; he admits he'll prefer a younger "lounge lizard" (idle young man), mocking both male fickleness and the era's youth-obsessed dating culture. **"Service"** jokes about poor hotel telephone service. A man requests a 6 a.m. wake-up call but falls asleep holding the receiver; the operator informs him it's already 5:45 a.m., suggesting he slept through the night unnoticed. The satire targets inadequate hotel staff responsiveness. **"The Maiden I Dote On Today"** is a romantic poem in classical ballade form, celebrating an idealized woman—beautiful, spirited, outdoorsy rather than socially pretentious. **"Immaterial"** and **"Outspoken"** are brief joke exchanges about marriage: one mocks a lovelorn man who's been married four times; another features a wife bragging about dominating a meeting, with the husband quipping no one could outspeak her. All reflect period attitudes toward courtship, marriage, and gender relations.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Drawn by Baxkspate Rocers Acinc Backwarp Bess—And will you love me when I am old, and gray? Bob—I will—but you'll prefer a twenty-year-old lounge liz ard at that age! Service By Liste Bew. DON’T think I shall stop at that hotel again. I I wanted to take an early train, and I thought I'd better leave a call with the clerk. There was a telephone in the room. I took down the receiver and waited. They were a bit slow answering the signal, I thought. I dare say I teetered the receiver hook up and down a few times. I must have dozed a little, sitting there with the receiver to my ear. All at once I heard the voice of the operator. “T’'d like to leave a call for six a. m.,” I said. A suppressed yawn came over the wire. “All right, dearie,” said a sweet voice, “but it’s a quarter to six, now.” I must have slept through the night at the phone. I don’t think I shall step at that hotel again. That really isn’t very good service, you know. Food for Thought Mr. Matter—You ought to see the play I was telling you about. It cer- tainly made me think. Miss Mind—One of these miracle plays, I suppose. Drawn by A. Macnerert The Maiden I Dote On Today By Cuxtox Scoutarp ER eyes are as blue as the seas H From which Aphrodite arose; Her voice has the lilt of the breeze, Or rillet that ripplingly flows; She has a most lovable nose, The style that they term retroussé; She’s fond both of bonnets and beaux, The maiden I dote on today! Before her discomfiture flees Whenever, wherever she goes; Fer air is the acme of ease From her gold crown of hair to her toes; Her lips seem not shapen for prose But rather to rhyme time away, And she always makes light of her woes, The maiden I dote on today! She cares not for tattle or teas, And scorns the society pose; She'd rather be out with the bees, Or footing afar through the snows; Her cheeks have the tint and the glows Of wild apple blossoms in May, Such charm on her nature bestows, The maiden | dote on today! ENVOY Tomorrow—but nobody knows What that may bring forth, so I say This ballade is just to disclose The maiden I dote on today! Immaterial Cynicus—Flubdub acts like a man who has been disap- pointed in love. Sillicus—Nonsense! Why, he has been married four times. Cynicus—Well, what of it? OutTsPOKEN Wifey—I certainly was outspoken in my sentiments at the meeting this afternoon. Hubby—Is it possible? Who in the world outspoke you?