Judge — April 27, 1918 — page 31: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

4S Sg rar!” n hiaing for this dazzling merican. clothes, as to be a kindly ld. For IN ablims vith our n words youth is never his sev- felines in Mark wisdom ng fully st Stop ist sign n now. popular yf your w YORK April 27, 1918 A Spring Song T’S not the kind you think it is, I Although it’s by a Bird. I call him just a “Damthrush,” By Tupor Jenks A name you've never heard. He’s only a small speckled thing Whose piping is most shrill. He comes each morn near five A.M., Close to my window sill And there he calls and yells and squalls And chuckles and makes gay, While I, inside, am cursing him, And wishing him away. I cannot sleep, I cannot rest, Irise. He flees. And then No sooner am I back in bed Than he tunes up again! The Wood Thrush is his legal name, But since I’ve heard him yell I move we dub him “The “Your vote?” amthrush.”” T is well!” Young wife (distractedly)—Oh, John, John! that fat cook you sent up from the agency— Husband—Yes, what's the matter? “She's got wedged in the kitchenette and I can’t get her out!” Even Up ‘ Mrs. Willis—When you begin to puff on that old thing I can’t help thinking that I wish you would get some new pipes. Mr. Willis—The same way I feel, dear, when | T hear you sing. Wouldn't You? Chauffeur—What do you do when you run over a dog jn the country? The other chauffewr—Thank God it wasn’t a skunk! When You Simmer It Down “I'm thinking of going into vaudevill Scott, old man, you haven't a single talent! “Tknow; but I’ve got a silk hat and a dress Feminism Little brother—We'll play we're married, and : you'll obey me. ister—Can that caveman stuff! I'm a voter! Changed Control Willis—Bump says he lost control of his 's right. The Sheriff has it now. <&5 Soldiers Soothe 23> Skin Troubles with Cuticura Soap, Ointment, Talcum 2e. each. Hints Helpful By P. Metsovurne N_ sending books to our soldier boys it may not be amiss to give a few helpful hints to the donors as to what books are proper. A brief list follows: Books on any new religion. It’s a great chance. You might convert the whole army. Books on diseases. It will enable one to find out all his ailments. (Mighty few he will have time to acquire.) Books of statistics, and tax lists. Cal- culated to make any man feel like fighting. Catalogues of hardware, water meters, and machinery. Useful to those who in- tend after the war to open up business on the other side. Books on China painting and lacquer work. Full of ideas for making gifts to send home next Christmas. Any city directory. Handy to lug around to sit on. Immoral novels. As these men and go to make a supreme sacrifice, leaving behind them all they hold dear in life, it is quite likely they have depraved minds, and would enjoy such reading. Books falling to pieces are a potent reminder of the decay of all earthly thin, Very dilapidated books, there- fore, would naturally promote religious tendencies and should be sent by devout persons. All books should have the finer pas- sages marked, and words especially ap- pealing to yourself underscored; also comments written on the margin. This makes a book so fascinating—to you. The Quick and the Dead Drazen by Epwaro J. Burrowes ~_} Samples of Cuticura,Dept.B.Bos:03."" “Botu or Em Brrps” B. Altman & Cn. “Gieve” Life-saving Waistcoats for insuring safety at sea are strongly commended to the notice of those about to embark for war service in Europe, inasmuch as the “Gieve’’ Waistcoat is con- ceded to be the most practi- cal and effective life-saving device yet invented, and is now in general use among army and navy men. It is made on the same lines as an ordinary waistcoat, and its simple but ingenious mechanism is readily avail- able for immediate use. B. Altman & Co. are the authorized distributors of the ‘‘Gieve’’ Life-sav- ing Waistcoats in the United States. Wadison Avenue: fifth Avenue 34th and 35th Streets slew Fork Death of a Humorist Joe A. Cone, a valued contributor to Jupce and a well-known humorist, died on March 28, ‘following an operation, at St. Raphael’s Hospi- tal, New Haven, Conn., aged 50. Mr. Cone, who was a popular member of the American Press Humorists, was born in Modus, Conn., and was the son of Mr. and Mrs. John A. Cone. For a period the deceased conducted a humorous column in the Boston Herald, and his contribu- tions of verse to various magazines for years distinguished his amusing individuality.