Judge — April 27, 1918 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

He Agreed—Peace crank—You agree with me that we should not humiliate Germany? Tommy (from the Somme)—I do, sir! What I say is—shoot 'er crown prin ‘ang the Kaiser, blow ’er blinkin’ ships i out of the water, disband ’er army, break ‘er up into small states, refuse to trade | with ’er on any conditions, but—don’t *umiliate 'er!""—Passing Show. Resource—A man-o’-warsman on a visit to his native city gave an amusing instance of the readiness and resource of naval seamen. He had made an arrange- ment at New York to meet a chum from his own ship, but he had forgotten the number of the house, and he did not care to knock at every door until he came to the right one. A rag and bone man witha bugle passed along. Jack seized the bugle. “T’m looking for a chum,” plained. Then he blew the grog calls for s the last note died away a the navy window was hastily flung up, and a sail- he ex- or’s head was thrust out. “Ah,” said Jack, as he handed back the bugle, “I knew I'd find him.”"—Argonaut. Nothing to Brag About—‘‘It won't be much of a story, will it?” “What?” “When our grandchildren ask us what we did in the great war, and we have to Confidential imarr “Vous croyes d son rhume?” “ Pensez-vous Ne #2. tell them that once a week we went with- out meat.”’—Detroit Free Press. A Bluff—“ The submarine blockade,” said a government official at a dinner, “is a bluff. It does harm, of course; it does untold harm, but as a blockade it is a bluff. “The bluffing, bragging submarines re- mind me of a hen. A hen, you know, et out to sce the world, and met a crow in a remote forest. “*But, madam,’ said the crow, ‘are you not afraid, without wings, of losing your way in all this dense tangle?’ “*Afraid? Oh, no!’ said the hen. ‘Every little while I lay an egg by which to guide myself back.’”—Iashington Star. Gas—* Military costumes are becom- ing common among the women.” “Yeh. My wife wears a gas mask at breakfast whenever I have to explain why I was out late the night before.” Buffalo Express. STRAIGHT TIPS —s = Of Course—“Some say you can’t get free professional advic “Can you?” “To be sure you can. Your doctor will talk law as long as you will listen, and your lawyer will give you medical advice on any ailment you want to bring up for discussion.” —Birmingham A ge-Herald. un truc pour faire qu'elle a un cerceau!” “Do you really believe she has a cold in the head “Nonsense! It’s only a ruse to make people think she has a head!""—Le Péle-Méle (Paris). War-Time Shopping “Je coudrais quatre métres de drap national pour un complet.” “Bien, monsieur. papier timbré. J temps votre extrait de naissance, un certificat de bonne vie et maurs, votre carnet de marriage et une procuration de madame votre épouse, le Faites une demande sur Vous fournires en méme tout timbré et legalisé. Si toutes vos pieces sont en régle, on vous servira immédiatement.” “1 would like four metres of government authorized goods for a suit.” “All right, sir. Make out an application on the regular blank, and be sure to affix a revenue stamp. You will furnish also your birth certificate, a certificate of good conduct, your marriage license, and an affidavit from your wife, all properly stamped and in duc I form. If these documents are satisfac- © the authorities, you can be served at Le Péle-Méle (Paris). His Interruption — The girl — My father says there is a movement on foot— The youth (with visible alarm)—I think I had better go. — Baltimore American, Not in the Whirl—* What's the mat- ter, old chap?” “T fear I am only on the edge of soci- ety.” “In that case, why don’t you join one of these community centers?’’—Kansas City Star. She Wondered—Mrs. Owens—I won- der if the doctor’s wife meant anything personal just now. vis—What did she say? Mrs. Owens—She said we might at least pay them a visit.—Boston Tran- script. The Hardest—“What’s the hardest thing about roller skating when you're learnin’?” asked a hesitating young man of the instructor at the rink. “The floor,” answered the attendant. —Brooklyn Eagle.