Judge — April 20, 1918 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

For Foot You will find this aame.,mark Nese on the sole of all genuine HERMAN S The Munson last Lea sp on which this shoe is built is the ee result of four Longe wy years of experi- ments with 2,000 marching men. The materials are the best known. “The workmanship is that of experts who have specialized on army shoes for years. Herman’s Army Shoes are fit to wear anywhere, ‘They stand up better in service and give longer wear for the money than any other shoe. Every sportsman and outdoor worker ought to have a pair. There’s a Herman dealer near you. Or you can be fitted yy mail. JOS. M. HERMAN SHOE CO. 806 Albany Bldg. Bo Comfort: ston, Mass. J In Praise of Red Tape By P. M. IE complex, high-powered methods n vogue in the Ordnance Depart- ment at Washington offer cause for national self-congratulation. We are a great and admirable people, a fact most brilliantly illustrated in the manner with which our government business is admin- istered. We have set out to win the war and make the world safe for Democracy, and this we shall do through sheer clerical capability. My heart nearly burst with pride over the demonstration of government compe- tence encountered during an illuminating two hours in the great executive building given over to ordnance affairs. When I walked into the main office and was directed by the stolid doorman to a clerk who was designated as the proper person for me to see, I knew at once by the bear- ing of this same clerk that I was in the presence of an unusual individual. He had a stern eye and a very large collar. When I had recited the object of my errand, it was plain that my demands agi- tated him in some extraordinary way, for his gaze wandered clear over my head and BECOME AN EXPERT ACCOUNTANT ig salaries. Thousands of firms ecountantsin US. Many are Executive Accountants command nO Certified P ‘a year. We train you thoroughly by ions 01 ting utive acco structor. reity of Secretary Illinois State tute of Acc tuitlon fee—easy terms LaSalle Extension University “The World's Greatest Extension University” ard of Account ountants.. Low ‘book of Accountancy facts. Dept. 482 HA, Chicago rested on a blond-topped typist across the room. I could see at once that his mind was filled with thoughts of the great con- flict in which our country is embarked. When he brought his eye back to mine it was plain that here was no mere clerical underling, but a superior type of intellect; he proved his superiority by the manner in which he examined his polished finger- nails; his scrutiny of them was absorbed but critical. When he finally reached into a drawer and drew forth a blank form for me to fill out, it was with the air of one upon whom responsibility sat with no light weight. Having followed his terse directions, I tendered the form, at which he glanced and then motioned me away with: “Take it to desk numberseventeenfif'y.” His tone was the essence of finality, I might almost say, Napoleonic. I took my scribbled-on paper to desk 1750. Here was another obviously superior person. To show up my mental ineptitude he asked me the same question three times. In the end he affixed a hieroglyphic to my sheet. I asked what it implied. “Take it to desk hunnered and blobby,” he said simply. I did as I was bid. For a long time I silently confronted this third commanding personality in my search for action. I could not make my presence felt, though I coughed apolo- getically to announce myself. When the occupant of desk “‘hunnered and blobby” at last looked up into my face, I thought I detected a shade of annoyance in his expression. I felt myself an intruder. That, however, was doubtless mere super- sensitiveness on my part. I was rather relieved when informed that my form sheet needed the scrutiny of an elderly party with mutton-chop whiskers, who grimly held a mahogany citadel in a far corner of the room. ‘Tremblingly, I proffered my piece of paper to him of the facial stabilizers. He proved to be a helpful and condescending soul, belying his iron visage. He rang a bell, not with- out a flourish, and to the responding mes- senger gave an order to “show the gentle- man up to Room 23.” My conductor (I had almost written the bell-hop) strutted forward and I lunged heavily after him. He mounted a flight of stairs and wandered down a long corridor. He carefully examined the signs on the various doors and eventually decided the one labeled 23 was as good as any. I was ushered in to confront a prim young woman who eyed me with marked disapproval. About the time I expected her to wave me out of her presence, she snapped a command for me to be seated. I was glad to accept the invitation; my legs were beginning to crumble. After awhile a boy was summoned, I was com- mitted to his charge and led off to another room where a man in a uniform occupied a swivel-chair. Confronting this adamant individual I fully expected him to order me shot at lErée Circulation and Greater Comfort with the The only one made with wide webding—the only one allowi {ree circulation—because it can't restrict muscles and vent Can't sag er s | to THE Tio! | No straps, buckles, hooks or adjustments. unfasten. Silk finish 50c.. lisle asc not at your dealer's, send his nae and P. TAYLOR CO., Dept. J. Bridgeport, Conn. Dealers: Ask us without The E. 2. 2Grip 4oc. and 606. bet every young man and oa very young woman should know What young husband and 20 pages—many Iitustrations ents, ond ommendations oa rateat ‘wrapper AMERICAN PUB. COMPANY," 409 Winsten Bldg. Philadelphis dawn. But he didn’t. He simply barked a command, stamped my precious paper and tossed it in my direction; I caught it on the fly and was led away by a flat- footed servitor to another room. My keeper knocked discreetly on an exces- sively large and imposing door. I was led in and glory be! my paper was O. K.’d! The object of my trip to the Capital was accomplished. Could anything be better calculated to impress a humble citizen of these United States with the majesty of government than the thorough grilling through which I had passed? Had my errand been at- tended with less ceremony I should have come away from the Ordnance Depart- ment almost with contempt for those in charge of We do not rightly value any prize too easily won. As it is, I am filled with the marvel of the system which pre- vails. Henceforth I shall be an admirer of bureaucratic magnificence. What if some peevish patriot figures out the cost of superfluous clerk hire or points out the waste of time in gaining one’s desired end? My answer to such carping is that too great an efficiency is un-American. Efficiency carried too far becomes mere Teutonism and the Ordnance Depart- ment cannot be accused of harboring any such treasonable qualities. |BROADWAY at 63rd Street, NEW YORK MOST, coaveniently situated hotel at ‘popular rates ia Be heart of everything. Rates single rooms, $1. Room Private bath, $1.50, Parlor Bedroom and bath (for 2)$2.9 Write for booklet “What's Going On.” P. V, LAND, Managt- @ “THE ONE THAT WON'T BIND” our jobber, or order sample dozens from eS: LU comicbooksisatt