Judge — April 13, 1918 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

And the Guests. The Browns, and the Perry-Bells, and the Jones. Of course we had forgot- sten that it was in the Jones’ mine that the Perry-Bells lost their money. And that the Brown- Walton match is Off. But we recall it when the Waltons come in. Mrs. Laird arrives, full of a lovely lecture she heard this afternoon on the Kentucky feudists. Mrs. Laird is one of those persons who go to lectures and things and come away thinking they are Phono- graphs. Their Reproducer is al- ways at Work. So we get the Lecture, They consider it an Honor to Come. So, in some ways, it makes us feel good to have them Around. If they don’t make too much noise with the Soup. ‘Then there are always the Young People. We always know one or two couples who will brave anything to Be Together. And, if the worst comes. to the worst, you can Let the Children Come Down. The Guests always Just Love to have the Children. At least they always Say so. At last the Company is complete. It is right up to War Strength. The Colonel is trying to get back to the front, and Of course there may be Ales. Laird to London: without it costing us a one or two Desertions at the Cent. last minute. We agree that feuds are perfectly foolish. They are generally among the Seven. Meanwhile the Warrens and the Simsons, who have Indeed we may go to bat with none of the Original joined our Happy Throng, Glare at each Other. Forty. Like a couple of Calciums. But, anyway, That’s done. Or a couple of Can’t See ’Ems. The next thing is, What shall we Have? Eventually everybody is Here. Father suggests that we have some Food. So we Go In. But food ts so Ordinary. Mother has been busy watching the Tide of Battle. Something dainty is so much more de bon ton. And chasing out every few minutes to shift the And cheaper. . Place-cards. We decide to have some canapés, and consommé, She has about given it up as a Bad Job. and chicken bouchées. But she has done so well you would think they We'll omit the fish. had Drawn Lots. Then, for the Substantial part, we shall serve cer- And, anyway, it is about as Awkward to sit Oppo- velles de veau, with artichokes. site as it is to sit Next. After that a squab. We sit down. All of us at the same time. Then a créme de menthe The canapés come. Father makes a remark that is intended to be Funny. Everybody laughs. But Mother. Mother wishes Father wouldn’t Say Such Things. The laugh dies away like a laugh in a Tunnel. It rumbles away in the distance as cheerful as a hearse. Father decides to Shut would be nice. And we can finish off with some French pastry, and cheese and crackers, and a demi-tasse. Father says there’s one good thing—they won't stay long. They'll want to_ hike Home and get something to Eat. : Mother says it is so Sim- ple the girls can prepare it. It won't be necessary to call in any Caterer. Those people charge Something Awful. But we can serve This ourselves with so little Ex- pense. Up. The Consommé arrives. There is a Horrible Si- lence. And a Horrible Silence is nothing to serve with Soup. Someone asks if anyone has seen the new Cohan play. Then, Father says, he’s Mrs. Laird has, and some- for This. one is sorry he spoke. At last the fatal hour As they pass out they tell mother and the girls what So Father slips in a word Arrives. . a lovely time they've had. about the war. comicbooks.com