Judge — April 13, 1918 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Draven by Cant Hastast DIsaDVANTAGE OF THE PREVAILING Mutitary Sty.es Warrer—Sorry, ladies, but the law forbids us to serve intoxicating beverages to anyone in uniform. The Superiority of Cream Puffs Over Pie in Farce Comedy By T. F. Mrvenent HE average movie goer knows that the farce comedy and the pie are more or less welded together. In fact it may be said without exaggeration that they are inseparable. And yet the pie, by reason of its shape and constitution, is not preeminently adapted for the rdle of missile. Its flatness precludes the holding of the proper amount of material; to use a military term, its bursting charge is low. Further, it cannot be grasped properly. It must be poised delicately on the palm of the hand and thrown from that position with a consequent loss of accuracy and it betrays a tendency to turn over in flight, sometimes striking the recipient end on instead of broadside, a position which is a decided bar to the peculiarly spattering effect appealing to a cultivated American audience. The cream puff by its very nature is free from defects like these. Of course the present commercial cream puff in times of economic stress like these has shrunk to alarming proportions; but this does not preclude the making of special cream puffs for cine- matographic uses, say of the size of a bowling ball. Compared with the pie their capacity for gelatinous matter would be very much greater and their con- tents much more liquid. They could be thrown with unerring precision and when they struck the target, the bursting effect produced would be almost indescribable. The Friendly Game “What turned the poker party into a riot?” “Just after Grabbitt won a big jackpot Von Dachshund tried to open negotiations for the restor- ation of the status quo ante.” Drawn by W. K. Starne Nails By Kessetu L. Rowents AILS are divided iato two great classes: finger-nails and wire nails. Finger-nails are used to keep the human finger from flapping around carelessly when it is being used to button on a collar or pick up a pin. Wire nails are used to keep a house from bending in the middle when the wind blows or when someone leans against it. The only person who questions the usefulness of nails is the woman who attempts to hit one with a hammer without any previous experience, and only suc- ceeds in pounding the wall and denting her fingers. Without finger-nails, the human race would have found it so painful to button v collars and other articles of clothing that it would probably still be wearing bearskins. Without wire nails, it would have found the erection of houses so difficult that it might still be living in trees or caves. Those who have trouble in meeting their bills for rent and clothing will at once realize how much they owe to nails. Our Mopern Gotpen Rute comicbooks.com