Judge — April 6, 1918 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sixes and Sevens By Aveert E. Hor Pr: ITEERING dates back to the whale that swallowed Jonah and got caught with an unreason- able prophet. 2 Noah could see ahead to Ararat while the deluge beat upon his little old ark—but he was a short-sighted pessi- mist compared to Senator Overman, who says that the bill increasing the President’s powers “will be passed when they get through talking.” s Labor continues to do its bit. The British had to scale a lot of precipices in order to take Jericho, but Mr. Gom- pers loyally waived the union scale. e Federal Judge Walter Evans says he can’t locate any statute authorizing Director General McAdoo to take control of the rail- roads. You'll find it, Judge, in section 23-4-U, the same section under which Jefferson took Louisiana, Seward took Alaska, McKinley took the Philippines, and Roosevelt took the Panama Canal —the only known instance, by the by, where the Colonel came anywhere near taking water. a How can you reconcile the demand of Congress for national prohibition with the demand of the food ad- ministration that everything that is canned be con- served? Drawn by Oxsox Lowen 2 Professor Wood Jones of the University of London says that Darwin was all wrong—that the ape de- scended from man, not vice versa. But there seems to be an uncomplimentary lack of apish alacrity to start societies of descendants. @ Senator James Hamilton Lewis predicts that the railroads will never be returned to private ownership, but he must be mistaken, for they hold a government round-trip ticket to McAdoo and return. Draven by H. Pater “Ox tHE OrHer Hanp Tue New Mititary Motor-Horn | | FRESE | | PAINT ITIZENS of Westfield, Mass., have organized a wood-chopping club to meet the fuel shortage, and adopted as their slogan “Cut a Cord.” Congress for its part might say nothing and saw wood, and if they can’t | cut a cord there’s a lot of red tape. 2 East Orange, N. J., wom- en have agreed to forego interminable telephone con- versations in order to give war activities the right of way—and we do hope the person who shares our party line is not less patriotic. 2 Carranza thinks Germany is more his friend than we are—so we judge he hasn’t touched the Kaiser for a loan. 2 We find in a farm journal an article on “how to remove tight nuts.” Looks as if the rural districts weren’t so “dry,” after all. 2 The Food Administration will not permit wholesale dealers to buy live hens until May ist. This order has cost a lot of hens their lives through not having been promulgated during Grant’s second term, when most of the storage hens now in circulation were alive and hearty. * The courts have decided that ex-Czar Nicholas may be sued the same as any other individual. The best ad- vice we can give him is that which the immortal Weller gave in the case of Bardell vs. Pickwick—“ Samivel, there ought to be a alleybi! & They say that the new style of men’s clothes will save cloth, but judging by the woman, the more cloth they save the more stylish the clothes and the more costly, * Ordinarily, we believe in being merciful, but that spy caught blowing up an American magazine ought to be fined what the magazine would have had to pay for second class postage. comichooks.cony]