Judge — March 30, 1918 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WET and DRY | Congressmen Dry!—Since Washing. ton became dry we see less “laughter” and “applause” in the reports of the Congressional Record. This may mean much or nothing, just as you look at it.— Los Angeles Times. A Pernicious Precedent—‘I'm told a man paid $10 for a quart of ‘blind tiger’ whisky in this town yester- day,” said the reformer. ‘Isn't that terrible?” “Tt is, indeed,” replied Mr. Jagsby, with a troubled look. “T agree with you, my brother.” “Yes. That's a bad example he’s set- ting to greedy distributors. The first thing we know, all of us will have to pay $10 for a quart of liquor.” —Birmingham Age-Herald. His Apparel—A lady crossing from Detroit to Windsor was asked by the cus- toms officer if she had anything dutiable. She assured him that she had nothing but wearing apparel in her trunks, but at the bottom of the largest one, which to him seemed the most suspicious, were found twelve bottles of whisky. “Madam,” said the officer, sarcastic- ally, “do you call these wearing apparel. “Certainly,” she replied sweet! Those are my husband's nightcaps. Argonaut. GOLF | Inspired Respect—‘How did Mrs. Grabcoin succeed in getting Mr. Grab- coin to attend church regularly?” “She persuaded the new rector to play Mr. Grabcoin a game of golf. The rector beat Mr. Grabcoin so badly the old gen- tleman said any man who could play golf like that ought to be able to preach a smashing sermon, so he went to church.” —Brooklyn Citizen. Other Worries—‘“ Does golf improve your health?” “No,” replied Mr. Glithersby, de- spondently. “But I should think fresh air, exercise and the interest one naturally takes in the game would help you forget your business cares,” “Oh, it does, but I play such a poor game that my golf cares keep me in a bad humor all the time.”—Birmingham Age- Herald. Handicapped—“1 wouldna say Mc- sh canna learn the game,” remarked f they trudged home from the “but it will be deefficult for é greed Donald. “At times he will be like to bust, what wi’ being so re- leegious and tongue-tied.” —Everybody’s Magazine Out of His Class—The man who had made his pile was at last happy. He had managed to squeeze himself into a very exclusive golf club. On_ his first visit he looked around for a pos- sible partner at a game, and approached a stout gentleman, whose deportment suggested social standing. ‘‘Certainly, sir,” replied the latter, in answer to the newcomer’s invitation. Then, as they approached the first tee, he went on: “By the way, I’m a four man. What are you?” The novice was startled, but after a minute’s consideration he said: ‘‘Fore- man, are ye? Well, I’m a straw 'at manufacturer.”’—London Fun. Sympathy for Caillaux / LAW and LAWYERS Contempt of Court—A certain man whose previous record was of the best was charged with a minor offense. Law and evidence were unquestionably on the side of the defense, but when the arguments had been concluded a verdict of “guilty” was given out and a fine im- posed. The lawyer for the defense \ sitting with his back toward the m: trate. Without changing his position or rising to address the court he remarked: “Judge, please fine me for contempt of court.” The magistrate inquired: “What d’ye mean, sir? You haven’t committed con- tempt. “T have,” came from the old lawyer. “It's silent.”—Atlanta Journal. An Expert—Lawyer (to handsome female defendant)—Sob a whole lot, but shed no tears. Nothing will prejudice a jury against you like a red nose and watery eyes.—Boston Globe. Germany's admiration for traitors in other countries is quite touching, Here is a cartoon from UlE, the comic weekly of the Berliner Tageblat, showing the ghost of Jaurés, the famous French Soci , interposing with: “ Much better murder him outright!” he Boche Blatt, by an unintentional lapse into truthfulness, has entitled this firing-squad scene: “French Justice. comicbooks.com