Judge, 1918-03-23 · page 22 of 32
Judge — March 23, 1918 — page 22: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects humorous anecdotes from different American colleges (NYU, Cornell, Williams, Vassar, Bryn Mawr, Wellesley, Smith). The jokes target typical college student behavior and anxieties of the era. Key themes include: **dating rules** (Vassar girl hoping to get "engaged" to bypass chaperone restrictions); **class consciousness** (different colleges stereotyped by what they ask about men—Bryn Mawr girls value intelligence, Vassar girls money, Wellesley girls identity, Smith girls location); **WWI military context** (references to "R.O.T.C." drilling, "cantonment," German concerns, and a mother sending supplies to her son's military camp). The humor assumes readers recognize colleges as distinct social institutions with recognizable student types. The cartoons and quips satirize youthful pretension, rule-breaking, and the collision between wartime concerns and campus social life. Most jokes rely on wordplay or ironic reversals of expected responses.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
New York University ROCRASTINATOR—At dinner, Mandy had heard a member of the family use the word “procrastinate” in the sense of to “put off.” That night, being Thursday night, Mandy asked the trolley car conductor if he would procrastinate her at Seventy-second Street. He did: y, Gus, what do you think? Last week in the middle of the cold snap the coal gave out “What?” “Heat.” Tramp (to lady of the house)—I just came back from the front, and—— L.O. T. H. (interrupting)—Indeed. And what success did you have there? Tramp—None, ma'am. That’s why I came around to the back. One kid—My birthday’s the same as my mother’s. ’Nother kid—Twins, eh? When a good Turk dies on the battle-field, Damsels and feasting’s what Heaven will yield. I've omitted the feast of which heroes partake, But concerning the damsels, there's no mistake. =) Cornell University OW It's Done—Vassar student—May I go motoring with Mr. Ketcham? Dean—You know it’s against the rules to go without a chaperon, unless you're en- gaged. V. S.—But if we go alone, I hope to be engaged to him when we come back. “TI wonder what the Germans are about now?” mused the cheerful idiot. “T hope they’re about all in,” responded the Sage. Frosh—What's a foot rule? Junior—Walk the straight and narrow path. “What is this volplaning any way?” “Sort of a back to the soil movement I suppose.” She—What is mineral wood? He—The shearings from a hydraulic ram. She—Pardon me, but why do they call you Satan? He—Oh, that’s just a little nickname of mine. The Difference—When a man is men- tioned, the Bryn Mawr girl asks— ‘How much does he know? The Vassar girl— got?” The Wellesley girl—‘‘ Who is he?” The Smith girl—“ Where is he?” ‘How much has he Williams College John Doe—What is it you like best about Marian’s singing? Gladys Canby—Oh, the refrain, I guess. EAVY Barrage—Sike (college bred)— , Al. What’s on your He (hoarsely—but not from emotio. — Can you smell that damned liniment ’wa over there? Captain—Why are you carrying that bit and brace? R.0O. T. C. Member—I'm going to drill. “I hear Jones comes from a one-horse town.”” “Does Jones own the horse?” Tourist (pointing to cliffs)—What do you think of Johnson’s Bluffs? Poker fiend—I successfully called three of them on-the train last night. Mrs. Hatch—Where is your son's canton- ment? Mrs. Scratch—I sent it to him yesterday and begged him for my sake never to drink anything but pure water out of it. tot Shi