Judge — March 9, 1918 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

was not nervous till after the ceremon “On the left, you see the confiding young man who went to board in the country for his Summer vacation, ana found the __ pastoral peace, mosquitoes and canned goods exactly as represented. “Here is a fifteen- cent magazine editor who believes he has something to learn, and here, with a blank. grin That’s Different By Haray Irvine Suusway HE young officer approached the august, but some- what dejected looking figure in the military cape. Outwardly the august per- son paid no attention to the soldiers salute. “Your maje: an- nounced the officer. “That position must be taken at all costs.” “Take it then,” snapped on his face, is a Man- hattan Subway guard who has forgotten more about real literature than the magazine man ever knew. He is not a rare specimen, but it was hard to catch him. And here is a scion of one of the oldest Beacon Hill families, who played the piano at a Revere Beach dance pa’ and here is a Boston girl who denies her natal city—she insists that she was born in Chicago. “The steam calliope will now play ‘Believe Me if All Those Endearing Young Charms,’ a very beautiful ditty composed in the tenth century by Lucretia Bor- gia. I thank you.” Tough It is tough when a fellow has something laid aside for a rainy day and has to spend it to pay for shovel- ing the snow off the walk. Drawn by Wavter De Maris “What's the matter, Bill? “Aw ‘ter enough! An actor, the only one of the species extant, who abhors publicity. Here I was plannin’ to be president of th the gov’ment’s took ‘em over, an’ there aint goin’ to be no more presidents.” the kaiser. “But your majesty, there are no more men,” stated the young officer; he could not have been more than fourteen. “No men?” hissed the emperor. “All Germany devoid of men “Ttis true. There are left only v ples and very small boys.” “And the women?” snapped the other. “They are gone, too. The emperor's face creased in an ugly scowl. tiently he ground one heel into the shell-scarred earth. “Pardon, your majesty, but the position must be taken. It’s a forlorn hope, perhaps, but there is a bare chance. There are only two men left to make the charge over no man’s land.” “Two? Who are they? Order them to charge at once!” shouted the emperor. “Very well, your majesty. Are you ready?” Tez" ay You and I are the only ones left. We must do it for the fatherland.” “You mean that I am to charge over no man’s land in the face of that machine gun fire?” is no y old men, hopeless crip- Impa- other way, your “Then the war is ended right now. You know I didn’t start this thing, so why should I end it? Absolutely nothing doing.” To Mr. Hoover— (Indicating Where He Will Have To Draw The Line.) By Kexxetu L. Ronerts. DO not mind the meatless days Which help to whip the Kaiser I'll gladly bear some sweetless days To make the Boches wiser. Bring on your gasolencless days. If they are needed badly Bring on your breadless, beanless days: I'll bear them all, and gladly; But it will be a blissless day — One sibilant with hisses If you declare a miss-less day: T must have Phryne’s kisses! road, an’ now icbooks.com