Judge, 1918-03-02 · page 14 of 36
Judge — March 2, 1918 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two satirical pieces from Judge magazine (likely early 1920s based on the "1920" reference in the second story). **Top Section:** A humorous domestic sketch where a homeowner lectures his Irish maid Bridget about professional dignity, citing the historical example of Vatel (a famous 17th-century chef who reportedly killed himself over a fish course failure for Louis XIV). The joke's reversal: Bridget counters by noting Mark Antony gave his cook an entire city as reward, making the employer look stingy by comparison. **"When Hades Froze" (Bottom):** A political allegory about post-WWI Germany's coal crisis. The Kaiser, desperate for fuel as the Allies advance eastward, visits Satan to negotiate. The satire mocks both Germany's desperation and the era's geopolitical chaos—the punchline being that Hell itself froze over because the Kaiser traded all "little neutral nations" for coal, leaving even the underworld depleted. The cartoon (drawn by Calvert Smith) visually represents this hellish fuel shortage with an ironic caption.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Sefton? Because he wanted shorter hours? No! Because he wanted Saturday nights and Sun- day afternoons off? Most cer- tainly not! He left because a guest added pepper to his soup! Ah!” and here I wagged my finger accusingly, “the cooks of to-day are not what they used to be.” “Wake up,” I shouted, rising eat, “to the dignity of your profession! Remember that as there are piano-players and Pade- rewskis, fiddlers and_ violinists, v ers and poets, so there are cooks and artist-cooks. Be alive to the responsibilities of your posi- tion. Look at Vatel: he fell on his sword because the lobster for the turbot-sauce was wanting at a féte given to Louis XIV. If my porridge was scorched, would you fall on your rolling-pin? It’s no use talking! Cooks to-day are not what cooks used to be!” Bridget looked at me incredulously. what you’re givin’ me?” “True?” I repeated loftily, “it certainly is. can look in the book for yourself.” She came to the table and took up the book. Sud- denly her eye lighted. She started to smile—a strange, eerie, Mona Lisa-like smile. “What are you smiling at, Bridget?” I asked. “Oh, nothing,” she said. “But it says here that Mark Anthony’s cook made up a banquet for Clayo- patry, and it was that fine his masther gave him a city for his good work. Sure, that Mr. Anthony must have “Ts that true You ALveRT SMiTH ror Hts Goop Worx’ been a grand, generous man. Ahsha!” she sighed, with a covert glance at me, “and it’s a shame! The employers of to-day are not what they used to be!” I felt rather guilty. “You may go now, Bridget,” I said with dignity. I shall never lecture Bridget again. When Hades Froze By Bexjasux De Cassenes N the winter of 1920 the fuel question was the most absorbing one in the German Empire. Coal, coal, coal! The Kaiser was wits’ end. He scratched his He picked his brain to the quick for coal. Nobody came to head for coal. He offered Denmark and Holland for coal. his aid. “Maybe I can borrow some from my partner,” he thought. It was a bold move, but the fires at Essen were going out and the Allies were moving eastward by the millions. So he visited Hades in the dead of night, and got into close conference with Satan, who was just then acting as chief furnace foreman in the hellfire department. “If you take all my coal the fires down here will go out,” said Satan to the Kaiser’s request. “But I'll give you all the little neutral nations for it, replied the great baby-nation snatcher. “Agreed!” said Satan. And that is the reason why the winter of 1920 was the coldest yet experienced in Hades. “So Tuat Accounts ror Tueke Ben’ No Casu in TH’ Sare!”” comicsool