Judge — February 23, 1918 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Our Oldest Ally ‘al Bull (to Master Gunner Time) . that that one will finish the job.— London). s a ane aera cam | SOLDIERS | a ee ee atten mae etme ert War Aims In billets down the line one afternoon, As Bill and me and most of our platoon Was dozin’ like, some blighter starts to j “L wonder what the ‘ell ingland,” ses Bill. Ses Dan (the shepherd), “Oh my!” Shouts Pauper Pete. “ho ‘adn’t a sou to chink, “TI fight to save my dollars, I don’t think.” “We're fighting ‘cos there's Belgium still to win.” “Em out for blood—Zepps done my cottage in.” Then Cockie (e “TL fight,” he se And when m, ve're fightin’ for! or liberty,” poet) ‘as ‘is say to scare Black Night away, ice is heard for miles around, The Dawn will break at that victorious sound.” “It's stripes I want.” “A ribbon’s more to me. “'m out to save my ‘ome acrost the sea.” “It's Mother most I’m fightin’ for,” ses Jim, And Ginger said the kids come first. with ‘im... . Just near us, listenin’ careless as we spoke, A chap stood readin’, quite a youngish bloke. And some one shouts: “Wot ‘o, my learned friend, Wot's your opinion? ‘Oo do you defend? Wot sort 0 name d’you call old England by? Wot makes it worth your bloomin’ while to die?” * he ses, and coolly goes on S.C. Roberts, in Westminster pana de Gracia (Barcelona). WAR Give and Take—A tall, thin Canadian licutenant reported in France to a bat- talion commanded by an elderly colonel who was very, very bald. A few days later he approached the commander and said: “I wish you would use your influence, sir, so that the men of my platoon would cease referring to me as ‘Legs.’” “Sure, my lad,” replied the elderly officer, “if you'll use yours to stop my whole battalion from calling me ‘Old Baldy.’ —Des Moines Capital. In Excellent Taste — Bootmaker — Well, Captain, I am glad to sce you back; and ’ow did you find the last pair of boots I made you? Captain (an exchanged prisoner from Germany)—Onh! the best I ever tasted!— London Opinion. Politic—Tommy (dictating letter to be sent to his wife)—The nurses here are a very plain lot—— Nurse—Oh, come! very polite to us. Tommy—Never mind, Nurse, put it down. It'll please her!—Punch, I say! That’s not Terror in His Voice—Her son had enlisted, and she was a proud old woman as she harangued a knot of friends on the village street. “‘Jarge always done ‘is duty by me, ’e did, and’ now ’e’s doin’ ‘is duty by king an’ country,” she said. ‘ feel right down sorry for them to think of ‘im goin’ into battle rifle in ‘is ‘and and ‘It’s a Long Way to Tipperary’ on ‘is lips. “Poor Germans, indeed!” exclaimed one of the audience. “ Pity’s wasted on ‘em! P’r’aps you ‘aven’t ‘card of their cruelties?” “P'raps I * agreed the old lady. ‘An’ p’raps you ‘aven’t ‘card Jarge sing.” —Tit-Bits. Promotion Backward—The rookie was being taken to the guard-house. “Quick promotion” he muttered to him- self. “I am already in charge of a squad of men.—Boston Transcript. Some Property—Sergeant (after in- vestigating as to parentage, etc.)—Mon, ye seem to hae no qualifications for en- trance into a Scottish regiment—think noo, thin! hae ye nae property in Scotland? Recruit (hopefully)—Well, yes; I have a pair of trousers at the Perth Dye Works.—London Opinion. Nightmare “Valga’m Sant Nin i Sant Non! Aquest, aquest si que m'espanta de debé!” “Help me, saints! It’s the ghost of the old familiar foodstuffs come to haunt me!"—Cama-