Judge — February 16, 1918 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Disillusionment The lady—And he told me he was a soldier'— Bystander (London) MINISTER Enough to Carry—A minister came “Do you wish to wear a surplice?” asked the rector. “Surplice!” cried the visitor. “Sur- plice! I am a Method: What do I know about surpli All I know about is a deficit!”"—New York Evening Post. What Did the Curate Get?—A bishop of the Church of England had invited the clergymen of his see to a week-end party at the Episcopal resi- dence. The guest of honor was a bishop from an adjoining diocese. The first morning at breakfast as the visiting bishop was about to crack the shell of his egg, he suddenly stopped, and, turning to the butler who was stand- ing at the back of the bishop’s chair, he said, all the while holding his fingers tightly to his nose: “Oh! my man! take this egg away; the odor of it is atrocious. Take it away, please; take it away.” The butler, taking the egg in his hand and eying it closely, said, with great deference: “My lord, a most regrettable mistake has been made. The stupid servant has given your lordship a curate’s egg.”—Binghamton Republican- Herald. The Laugh on Him—Mr. Jones had recently become the father of twins. The minister stopped him in the street to congratulate him. “Well, Jones.” he said, “I hear that the Lord has smiled on you.” “Smiled on me?” repeated Jones. “He laughed out loud.”"——7it-Bits. We Get You Reginald—“And for three days and three nights,” read the modest young curate, “Jonah was in—er —in the society of the whale.”—Boston Transcript. pom ESTIC | Business Deferred— Don’t wait for me at dinner this evening, dearie,” he said when his wife answered his telephone call. “What is the matter?” she asked. “T have a business engagement—very important—which will keep me down town pretty late.” “Oh, pshaw! Can’t you get out of it?”’ “No. I’m awfully sorry, dear.” “Try to put it off till tomorrow.” “It’s impossible. There’s a man here from New York specially to see me, and he’s going away on the midnight train. There’s a whole lot of business I’ve got to go over with him before he gets away.” “When did he come?” “Just got in.” “T didn’t know there was a train from New York this late.” “Oh, yes. There are trains from New York every little while.” “What is his name?” “Say, honey, I don’t like to have you speak to me like that. You evidently doubt my word. His name is Davidson, if you must know—William Davidson— say, who's there with you?” “Why, nobody, dear.” “Yes there is. I heard somebody laughing.” “You just imagined it.” “Imagine nothing! There’s some man there with you—there! I just heard him calling you his daisy. I’ll be right home!” Without ing for her to answer, he hung up. Then she stepped over to the phonograph and took off the Harry Lauder record.—Sam Kiser in Dayton News. In the Vernacular—‘ Why did you discharge your cook?” “She said she wouldn't manded.”” “Did she ex- press herself to that effect?” “Yes, but what she really said was, ‘I won't take no sass offen no- body.’” —Bir- mingham Age- Herald. be repri- Fed Up— “Are you going to the debate at the club to- night?” “No. A de- bate is some- thing I never have to leave the house to hear.” — Detroit Free Press. New Fashion Pereverzeff—I left the Ministry of Justice because the bandage had slipped from the eyes of Justice to her arms.—Novy Satirikon (Petrograd).