Judge, 1918-02-09 · page 34 of 36
Judge — February 9, 1918 — page 34: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising and editorial notices** for *Judge* magazine's wartime operations (note the disclaimer "We Are Under War Conditions" explaining mail delays). The only substantive satirical content is **"The Truth Emerges"** by Ted Robinson, a poem about courtship deception. A man named McCabe wants to marry off his niece, exaggerating her beauty ("cheeks like the rose," "hair like gold," "neck like a swan"). The narrator sees through the flattery—comparing her yellow-ish complexion, dull hair, and scrawny neck to unflattering truths. The joke's punchline reveals McCabe was accidentally correct about one thing: her teeth resemble a newborn baby's—presumably meaning they're small, weak, or poorly developed. The satirical point: men's flowery romantic language masks the truth, with humor derived from the gap between idealized description and physical reality. It's relatively gentle humor about male courtship exaggeration. The page also advertises *Judge*'s own editorial standards and classifieds for magazine representatives.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ive Minutes from Anywhi Hotel Colonnade Chestnut at 15th Street Philadelphia, Pa. One square from Broad Street Station. Four squares from Reading Terminal, in the heart of the Theatre and Shopping Districts. Rooms $1.50 Up. With Bath, $2.00 Up Three Restaurants —Two Dance Floers Wire Resercations at Our Expense The Truth Emerges By Tep Rosixson MCCABE; he had a spinster niece, Whom he was bound that I should wed; And she was Nature’s masterpiece, And fair and good and young (he said). I did not doubt that she was good, For frailty lurks in beauty rare, And somehow I quite understood That she was only fairly fair. And as to age, the honest truth He might have told, or held it true— But Mac and I, we look at youth From quite a different point of view. He said her cheeks were like the rose; (I know where yellow roses grow.) Like gold, he said, her bright hair glows; (The druggist sells the gilt—I know!) He said her neck was like the swan; My vision drew a skinny goose. I let him ramble on and on— His tongue betrays him, when it’s loose. So do all men’s—so did McCabe’s— He flivvered in this lofty flight; “Her tecth are like a new-born babe’s!” (I've learned, by gum, that he was right!) ROMEIKE’S PRESS CLIPPING BUREAU Woe will send you all newspaper clip- pings which may appear about y your friends, or any subject on w you may want to be “up to date Every newspaper and periodical of importance in the United States and Europe is searched. Terms—$5.00 for 100 notices HENRY ROMEIKE, 106-110 Seventh Ave., New York ce PAGE’ L- CHINA CEMENT STANDS HOT AND COLD WATER HENRY LINDENMEYR & SONS PAPER WAREHOUSE Nos. 32, 34 and 36 Bleecker Street Branch Warehouses 30 Beekman Street, New Vork. and 42 Clinton Street, Newark, N. J. ALL KINDS OF PA MADE TO ORDER We Are Under War Conditions F your copy of JupcE reaches you late, remember that the postal facilities are overtaxed and the mails are ofteu days late. Please do not be too quick to make complaint. We are printing and mailing the paper on time. We cannot speed up the mails. When your paper reaches you, read it care- fully and then put a stamp on it and hand it to your postman, who will startit to the boys “ OverThere,” who are always eager for good reading. The Happy Medium If you want a good, clean, humorous il- lustrated publication for the coming year subscribe to Judge, New York, and you will not regret it. It knows how to amuse without resorting to slander upon some race or pro- fession. Its wit is of that keep-sweet, pointed, good natured, American kind that tickles but never hurts.—The Spatula. Heroic Measures H, yes!” said Jones, “I kissed the cook, And with my wife’s conniving. You see, we've got to ke that girl, Despite the cost of striving!” By Texstson J. Darr aper is to preach the “The mission of this gospel of happiness” lephone 663 Published weekly by LeslieJudge Company k Building, 225 Filta Avenue, New York. igion Representative c. ‘a P. Sleicher, Sec'y. aldron, Literary Editor. Lawton Mackall, Associate Editor 1 by copyright in both cannot he found at any newsstand, the publishers er obligations if that fact be prompily reported on 1, 10 cents per copy; 1917, 4 dependencies, and Mex- 1 50 cents a year for postas: ico. To Canadian Provinces to all foreign ding ew Chi LAND ADVERTISING ( ‘Tremont Building + - = = + Boston, Mavs. Judge is printed by the Schweinler Press. icage OFF | A Short History of the German Empire JuDG Leslie-Judge Representatives WANTED In Small Towns and Country Districts WE want you to help us introduce to the firesides of country homes, The Happy Medium, JUDGE, and the magazine of the haj FILM FUN, and America’s paper, LESLIE’S WEEKLY. Young men and young women (17 to 21 fe No experience necessary.” “We Teal and Ree ans secure subscriptions for three and six months and a year. No Single Copy Sale. Use your spare time evenings, holidays, etc., and ears from 3$ to $25 a week, or put in all of your time during the winter and earn double this amount. Answer quickly so you can start now. Give population and description of town, township or territory you thisk you can cover. SUB-AGENCY DEPARTMENT LESLIE-JUDGE COMPANY 225 Fifth Avenue New York City y side of the movies, nly Illustrated News Mighty Impulsive A VIRGINIA man who has many negroes in his employ met one of his former workmen on the street recently, and after the customary questions as to the old man’s welfare, asked: “Where is your brother George now?” “Why, Mistah Brown, suh, George am dead. Yessah, done found dead in his bed.” “Passed away very suddenly, then?” “Yassah, Mistah Brown, but George be was always mighty impulsive.” Sublime Faith T an American camp a recruit was vigor- ously studying “French at a Glance” when he noticed his tent-mate was as strenu- ously devouring “German in Five Days.” “What's the idea, Bill?” asked the French student. | “Jusc this,” replied the other, “I don’t in- | tend to capture Berlin and not know how to ask for a glass of real beer.” I tre William the Sane th Reared it with pain, of IL wh William the Rash a Knocked it to smash. ot wil Pre F . Bu NEW HOTEL BINGHAM, Philadelphia | ) * In the center of everything, Large. well lighted and com his Hot and cold running water in every, Tom E ¢ rect, Subway connection with all hers det Special luncheons. ‘Rooms without, bath, $1.50; with bath a $2.00 per day and up. FRANK KIMBLE, Manager. em r0 WANTED—AN IDEA! WHO CAN THINK OPSOME tra simple thing to patent? Protect your ideas, they may brist you wealth. Write for “Needed Inventions” and “How ® Get Your Patent and Your Money.” Randolph & Co Patent Attorneys, Dept. 129, Washington, D. C. icomicbooks.com