Judge — February 9, 1918 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Forbidding Fruit Frutto Indigesto. An indigestible dish—L’ sino (Rome) HM FOOD ° Not Providential—One of the chief faults of the Russian Provisional Govern- ment is due to its inability to provide more provisions.—Passing Show. Speculation—Redd—Believe me, this food game is getting fierce. Greene—It certainly is. Redd—I've come to the conclusion that the world is made up of gamblers and speculators. Greene—Oh, it’s not as bad as that. Redd—Yes, it is, too. Greene—Then which class do you be- long to—the gamblers or speculators? Redd—Vhe latte Greene—Oh, u're speculating, are you? Redd—Yes; I’m speculating on what thing I eat I'll have to give up next.— Yonkers Statesman. Sidetracked—Some time ago one of the trampiest kind of tramps appeared at the rear entrance of a suburban home and meekly knocked. Almost instantly Dinah, the colored cook, became ble. . * said the tramp, in an appeal- ing voi won't you please give me something to eat? I hain’t had id “We'll see ‘bout dat,” imperiously re- sponded the cook, with a critical glance at the other. “Do yo’ like fish?” “Yes, dear lady,” answered the hobo, great hope rising in his eyes. “ Nothing would suit me better than fish.” “AIL right. den,” smiled Dinah, pre- paring to slam the door shut, “come ’round on Friday.” —Dayton. News. The Waiter and the Fly—A cus- tomer in a French café in San Francisco summoned his waiter and demanded of him, “How is it that I find a dead fly in my stew?” “Monsieur,” the waiter replied, “I regret that I cannot tell you. Perhaps the fly had not eaten for many days, and, throwing itself ravenously on the stew, fed with too great heartiness, thereby contracting an inflammation of the stomach severe enough to cause death. ‘The poor little thing can never have been strong. When I brought the stew it was dancing merrily and humming on the surface. Perhaps—this idea has just presented itself to me—it endeavored to swallow too large a piece of meat. The morsel stuck to his windpipe. A terrific coughing fit, inaudible to our gross ears, ensued. Alas, soon all was over. I can count in no other way for the poor creature's death.” Stove-Ore. Paper Clothes in Bocheland “Hermann, mets ton complet bucard plutot que ton bristol; coita qu'il pleut . “Hermann, put on your blotting paper suit instead ,of your cardboard one; it’s begun to rain.” —Le Rire (Paris). Doubtful “This be a shocking wicked world, Jane Pipsqueak, with they Germans gassing us, and dropping they there bombs on us; I reckon us will be very lucky if we gets out of it alive.” —Tatler (London). THE ARMY | Force of Habit—Corp. Levi—Halt! Who goes there? Voice in the dark—Ordnance officer. Cor p.—Advance and give the discount! —Medical Pickwick. What Jones Had Done—Presiding Genius—What is the charge against Private Jones? Sergeant—If yer plaze,’e’s been drunk, an’ ’e’s been breakin’ things, an’ ’e won't obey no orders. In fact, ’e’s been be- havin’ gin’rally as though ’e wuz the bloomin’ colonel himself! — Southern HM oman’s Magazine. A Change Recommended—Sergeant —You’v¢é fallen out of line not less than five times. You should not be in this regiment at all. Recruit—Where should I be? Sergeant—In the flying corps, and you'd only have to fall out once.—London Opinion. “ Disappointed—“How does your boy like life in the army?” “Not particularly well. He says he’s been in it six weeks now and hasn’t once been ordered to do something glorious.”—Detroit Free Press. comicbooks.com