Judge — February 2, 1918 — page 31: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Rese lasats 1 ws Tae Oe FES Pisa? lied ent, stop n on ora shap runs vays but are | the the ny bring How 19 & Co. February 2, 1918 Shear Steal | ‘peers Improved Construction—"So you are get- ting along nicely with your physiology are you, dear,” said the lady caller. ‘How many bones are there in the human body?” “Two hundred,” the child answered. «My teacher used to tell us 208.” “Well, I guess people ain’t so bony as they used to be when you went to school.”—Boston Transcript. Making It Easy for Her—It was the boss Flimmer, you are a very pretly young sir. “You dress neatly and you have a well modu- lated voice. I might add that your deportment is also above reproach.” “But I don’t understand why you, a man of family, pay me so many compliments of a strictly personal nature.” “For this reason. I want to put you ina cheerful frame of mind before taking up the matter of your spelling and punctuation.” —Birmingham Age-Herald. All Prepared—Boreleigh—Nice dog! Have you taught him any new tricks since I was here last? Miss Smart—Oh, yes, if you just whistle he'll fetch your hat.—Boston Transcript. Too Inquisitive—An Illinois judge has de- cided that a man can tak in his sleep without making himself subject to divorce proceedings. Yes, but what did he say?—Cleveland Plain Dealer. Never Soggy—The open-faced pie is the newest conservation diet; but somehow or other the man who dines at restaurants feels that he could better spare the bottom crust than the top one.—Cleveland Plain Dealer. In the Circumstances—“Lend me $10 until I see you again.” “I'd rather not put it just that way.” “What do you mean?” ppose I lend you $1o until I see you again. In the circumstances my vision is apt to be much keener than yours.” —Birmingham Age-Herald. Destination Unknown Our gunners got the range at last and dropped a shell right in istmas has gone?” said the kind old lady to the little boy. “Naw,” was the reply. “It gets terribly Monotonous having to be good day in and day Cut.” —Detroit Free Press. other single thing. the Hun. Vanity Fair cannot build ships. stay. of war-time life at home. That Vanity Fair covers the war. It publishes serious articles on serious phases of it. It shows portraits of the men who are in the forefront. It also treats as they de- serve those incidents and accidents of war-time life which call for humorous appreciation or caustic comment. It also publishes—as always—everything Vanity Fair. If you do not know Vanity Fair, or would like to know it better, you may have the next nine issues for $2—and even ten, if you mail the coupon now. You think nothing—in your poor deluded way—of spending $2 for a single theatre ticket, or two faded gardenias. Yet for that very $2 you may have ten months of Vanity Fair, and with it more entertain- ment than you would get from a winter of problem plays, or a five-foot shelf of novels. Attention! Eyes right! Salute the coupon! Tear it off, fill it out, and let Vanity Fair keep you —for ten months—in step with the times. 9 Issues of Vanity Fair for $2 ten, if vou mail the coupon now |Every Issue of VANITY FAIR Is a Boost for the Morale of the Nation “For God’s sake, cheer up the people of France,” said Pershing when they asked him what America could do.to help win the war. “cheero spirit” in France, in England and in America will do more to beat Germany than any Lack of it will give victory to Morale, and the Or move freight. Or go over the top with an Enfield. But it can help to dispel gloom. It can keep cheerful the men who go and the men and women who It can chronicle that side of the war which refuses to be dark—its unquenchable humor, its unconscious heroism, its outstanding figures, and mirror—cheerfully—the swift current is our “bit” in this war. entertaining and amusing in civil life. It is a sort of headquarters for the mind, a front-line trench in the affairs of the world, a listening post for news of the theatres, arts, sports, gaieties, and fashions; a special official communiqué—once a month—on the latest news from our artistic and social fronts. Read Vanity Fair Yourself! Send It to Your Soldier! Not only should you have on your library table those publications which treat only the most serious aspects of the war in the most serious way, but with them you should also have Vanity Fair, which echoes the songs of the Sammies, the skirl of the pipers, and does its best to maintain the cheero spirit here at home. The men who have gone to camp have left their familiar worlds behind them. They are hungry for news. They need laughter. They want something amusing to read. could give them that would more exactly fit their needs There is nothing you than comicbooks.com