Judge, 1918-02-02 · page 10 of 36
Judge — February 2, 1918 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"The Feminist"** is a satirical poem attacking women's suffrage and expanding female roles. The author presents feminism as an aggressive force—women gaining voting rights ("strip the locks from the ballot box"), entering traditionally male professions (farmers, police, doctors, sailors, clerks), and challenging male dominance. The poem's tone is mocking, portraying feminists as disruptive rather than liberatory. This reflects early 20th-century anti-suffrage sentiment. **"Wanted—A Comet"** is wartime satire wishing for a spectacular celestial event to inspire Americans during WWI (ongoing since 1914). The author argues three years of war has failed to galvanize public imagination; a dramatic comet would provide the emotional jolt needed to energize the nation's war effort. **"Dreams"** presents cynical post-war fantasies of German conquest—imagining European landmarks repurposed as German colonial infrastructure (the Louvre as a dance hall, Bagdad as a "show-window"). The page's humor relies on period anxieties: female empowerment as threatening, wartime pessimism, and imperial ambitions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Feminist By Jack Burrovens yr can’t resist the Feminist; She's built of brain and muscle; She'll strip the locks from the ballot box, For her motto’s “Hump and Hustle.” She'll get the vote and the lowly goat Of the sex that once was stronger, For the “Male Supreme” is an idle dream That fools the world no longer. Joan of Arc made a goodly mark In the days of knights in armor, But the modern maid makes her glory fade In this day of the woman farmer With matchless crops; the woman cops, ‘The woman “docs” and sailors; The woman scribes with their timely jibes And the woman clerks and tailors. Yes, the Feminist has slapped the wrist Of the antiquated order. She’s full of fight and she’s sitting tight, SN So we men must soon accord her Ss The praise she earns when her power turns PBrucceePaAy _ The tide of her sex s battle, . For the Feminist is no maid 0’ the mist— a0) 1 wonder if the ‘There’s sense in her line of prattle! id dog. Dreams Wanted—A Comet The United States as a German coaling shed. France as the Brook f Germany. By H.W. Davis ‘alais as the Atlantic City of Berlin. HE war needs a comet—and needs one badly. ‘The Louvre as a German dance-hall. Never was the time so ripe as it is now for some Hugo Ballin’s ferryboat line from Hamburg to London. mammoth, flare-tailed celestial vagabond to Bagdad as the Oriental show-window of the German depart- dive into our solar system and scare us mortals blue. ment store. Benjamin De Casseres. For three years and a_ half the war has dragged along, and we haven’t had a_ single por- tent of sufficient caliber to gen- erate a dozen goose bumps on the veriest “‘fraid-cat.” There has been a doleful abundance of minor portents, but they have all turned out to be of merely local interest. What we need is something that will get hold of our primal imagina- tions and make us quiver from head to foot until the backbone of our continent aches. A big comet would do the work pat. It is time for the astronomers to do their bit. Modified Pacifism Jinks—I hear your boy in college is opposed to the draft Jenks—Well, he did say it would be handier if I sent him the cash There May Be Others, but— Hubbubs—What is your idea of the most deceive thing in life? Subbubs—Well, just — off-hand. . . ” hould say 4 ell, just off-hand, “Uncle! you seem to have some trouble getting over the ground. should say a five-minutes’ walk from “T ain't complainin’ boss, so long ez I kin keep from gittin® the station. under it.” comicbooks.com