Judge — January 12, 1918 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Now, more than e © Vanity Pair. Vanity Fair cannot build ships. the top with a Springfield. Every Issue of Vanity Fair > Is a Boost for the Morale of the Nation. what the English call “the cheero spirit Need for keeping a stiff upper lip. Need for hiding a long face, for a full measure of pluck, and for great good humor. But it can dispel gloom. , there is need fu Or move freight. Or go over It can keep cheerful the men who go and the men and women who stay. dark—its outstanding figures, and mirror—che That of war-time life at home. FrRomu the beginning, England has made it a nat al point of honour to see the cheerful side the war, to the complete mystification of the apos- tles of kultur and hymnsters of hate. —Punch’s han- ng of the war is famous. Captain Bairnsfather's have The Bystander a household ce. They have been ri with horror ii with delight es Berlin! Every Issue AND ARTICLES. It can chronicle that side of the war which refuses to be unquenchable humour, its unconscious heroism, its rfully—the swift current “bit” in the war. is our + serious arti- the war. It also treats deserve lents and f e life wh i comment. Punch has 1 Gallipoli — but it has ers, scorched sympath So, als Contains SPORTS: ‘The war i OTHER TOPICS: Th , Get the Cheero Spirit: It Will Help Win the War! Vanity Fair covers the war. news of everythi only should which treat « serious way But with ther and does its bit to Bat it also pr aining and amusing host serious aspec which echoes the songs of the Sam: ntain the skirl of the ‘pipe fai rit here at home. 9 Issues of Vanity Fair for $2 ten, if you mail the coupon now If you do not know Vanity Fair, or would like to know it better, you may have the next nine issues for and even ten, if you mail the coupon nov. think noth months of Vanity Fair, and with it a ment than you would get from a winter of problem plays, or a five-foot shelf of novels. Attenti yes left! Salute the coupon! Tear it off, fill it Out, and let Vanity Fair keep you pr ten months—in step with the times, JUDGE time, jedge, you rec'lect, you was mah lawyuh “Where is your lawyer this time? “y ain't got no lawyer dis time, Henry. “Ah’s gwine to tell de troof.”— Oregon Journal. Handicapped—‘ I wouldna say Mc’ ish canna learn the game,” remarked S: as they trudged home from the link it will be deeficult for him.” “Aye,” agreed Donald. At times he will be glad to burst, what wi’ being so relce: gious tongue-tied.” —Erverybody's Magazi In Wrong Either Way—‘I'm in hard luck.” “Why?” “T told Belle she was the first girl I ever loved. and she said she couldn't waste her time training amateurs. Then I told Nancy I had made love to other girls but that she was my real passion, and she asked me if she cultured taste with me or a forlorn Baltimore American. Safety Sane: Best operating man we know is a red cap porter who can carry three suitcases through a revolving door. Don't know why they want to send dis- patchers to Russia. Only ones who aren’t dispatchers over there now are dispatched. Trains aren't running in Russia, but the crews are. Railroad's dollar is shrinking like a flannel undershirt. Cows must not wander on the railroad track on Meatless Tuesday. From a close perusal of the daily press we come to the following clear conclusions: American railroads are splendidly han- dling three-fourths of the world’s traflic. American railroads have collapsed. The whole bunch couldn’t haul a sack of beans from Podunk to Yaphank. ailroad rates will be increased. road rates will not be increased. ates to Pacifie Coast terminals will be raised to a parity with Intermountain points. Rates to Intermountain points will be lowered to a parity with Pacific Coast terminals. Intermountain and Pacific Coast terminal rates will remain as they are The railroads will be taken over by the Government. They will not. The Government will be taken over by the railroads. Oh, well! There should be no minimum carloads when it comes to patriotism. Uncle Sam’s answer to the U-boat is U ship. Shippers and railroad men are fraternizing back of the trenches. Some hunter in the Imperial Valley shot a bird which no one can identify. Maybe it’s the Dove of Peace Watch your step. They need all the doc- tors over on the other side. Before crossing a railroad tra German spy: S! Porter on the Southern Pa other day explaining that he demption but he got grafted.” Southern Pacific Bulletin. ct like a “sought. re-