Judge, 1918-01-05 · page 18 of 28
Judge — January 5, 1918 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects brief comedic dialogues satirizing early 20th-century college life and social customs. The jokes target: **College courtship**: Mocking awkward co-ed interactions and the physical inadequacies of male suitors ("pigeon-toed"). **Marriage critique**: Suggesting wives are financial burdens ("rocks to support the wife"). **Medical quackery**: Joking about dubious practices like paying doctors per inch of skin grafts. **Class pretension**: A woman trying to appear sophisticated at the theater while bringing minimal luggage; a foreigner requesting generic "powder" at a pharmacy. **Generational humor**: Adults misunderstanding modern slang and historical references (King Arthur in pajamas). The cartoons illustrate specific jokes—a woman in a window, a man in Arctic clothing. Overall, this represents Judge's typical approach: gentle mockery of contemporary social anxieties, dating rituals, and the gap between generations during the Progressive Era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
XCELSIOR—First co-ed—And when I got to class he nearly tore my hair out. Second ditto—Oh, and in front of the whole class, too! Weren't you embarrassed? Why didn’t you tell him that there was a time and place for everything? “What made you stay out of the hall the he asked. out,” replied the maid, rubbing Some Camouflage “I'm going to seoghat new show. There company of 120 people.” “What has that to do with it?” “Nothing, except that they only carry one trunk.” Foreign Lady in a Pharmacy—‘I vant some powder.” “Mennen’s?” WITH THE COLLEGE WITS Cornell University UCH!—He—I think there’s something e-like about you. Sot really? Sure, you're pigeon-toed. To sterilize a lady's sighs Or kisses, is outrageous. We'd much prefer to humor her And let her be contagious. She—Why do you think marriage is such a hard proposition? He—Well, you see, it takes grit to. pro- pose, sand to go through with the ceremony, and rocks to support the wife. Kid—What does this mean, dad, “five dollars paid by Dr. Killemoff for each inch of skin. Apply at the hospital.” Wise pop—Oh, that’s another one of those graft games, I guess. He—What music are you going to have at your dance? Other he—The fraternity hat-band. “Strange, that a disease always strikes one in his weakest place.” “Huh, is that why you have a cold in your head?” The H. C. of Learning—First Stude (knowingly)—This idea of free speech is all rot. Second—Howzat? First’ Stude—Took public speaking and the d—— text-book cost me $2.60. Heavy Stuff—‘“Are you the same young man to whom I gav baked at the Charity Fair: “No, and what’s more, the doctor says I never will be.”” MOON! “LIAS IT 27° Leland Stanford University WHERE Are My Children ?—Smith —I hear that Jones hates children. Smythe—N of war babies. s, he lost money on a couple the matter with that man? Has he got the St. Vitus’s dance? Nazel—Nope, that’s a deaf and dumb man talkin’ and he stutters. Modern Methods—Queen Bess had her enemies broken on the wheel.” t so? Queens these days use a An Arctic Whaler Give Him the Dungeon—W'arden— In this institution we aim to put every man to work at his regular occupation. Now what is your business? No. 3333—Traveling salesman. Bright Stuff—‘“I'd like to have Simp- kins’ yellow streak.” “WI uu coward! “Tt a gold mine.” Pillow Fight Probably—Bookworm— Did you know they used to fight in pajamas in the olden days? Fishworm—Impossible! Bookworm—It says right here “and ye goode King Arthur went forthe into battle with his royale knightes.” Pointed—Bon-Ton—What do you think of Miss Hicks’ figure? Kabo—I hardly know; every time I glance at her, I see a new angle to it.