Judge — January 5, 1918 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Notion Counter Ry DOUGLAS MALLOCH HE devil is certainly always on the job. T yesterday who hasn’t taken a thing since last January, and he was thinking of making it just an even year. Considering the state of the world, we may say confidentially to little ror8 that we think his dad made more or less of a mess of he trouble with a good many fellows who intend to reform January 1 is that they go back too far to get a running start. Many a New Year's resolution goes to wreck because people never get beyond the New Year's Eve preamble. If the Kaiser will call on the western front about April 1 he will learn something to his disadvantage. Don’t start anything you can’t finish is good advice; and, also, don’t quit anything you can’t leave alone. If she looks as good in 1918 as she did in 1917, I wish you joy in 1919. The great trouble is that so many people who resolve to do or die don’t do either. The war was to be over in three years, and now it’s over in the fourth, Virtue would do more business if it didn’t advertise that it is its own reward. | —— porto J Awe 8 d jis y £3) fat & iF \ ; ev ffintt wpe anenoeues "he hte Mabie BUBBLES “Why is it, son, dey bust as soon as | make dem?” I met a man 7 “Papa, I think maybe dere is too much vind in dem. You blow too hard.” The Bantam—"Look here! | don’t like the way this Home Guard is run and I'm going to resign!” “Hush! Keep mum about it. It doesn’t do to let out anything that's of military advantage to the enemy.” Many a pair of sprouting wings will develop into horns be- fore the year is over. Uncle Sam is thinking of accepting a position as driver of the water-wagon. The year that begins with a headache is likely to end with a heartache. It will be lonesome around the cigar store for a few days. The model girl is all right, if she isn’t an 1882 model. Our poultryman seems to have been wringing out the old. Valley Forge was terrible, but there is a lot of suffering among our army officers even now, since the waiters can’t serve it to a man in uniform. When I see some mothers sending some sons to college it reminds me of a hen setting on a china egg. The soldier who learned the goose step is beginning to think that he was a good deal of a goose. Sarah Bernhardt has nothing on the American guest when it comes to saying farewell. What a man really needs isn’t an attorney in fact but when he is out of them. There are some women that I occasionally sce speechless, with amazement. To make a wild west drama, take a lot of broncs and add a dash of Bronx. The K; ’s statements are in Dutch, thereby resembling the Kaiser. Being subject to the income tax has lost all of its distinction. 1s people seldom have svelt figures. Haste I observe that even the club sandwich has raised its dues. What the rich uncle's nephew lacked was the will to win. He wanted a lot of rope, so the boss let him out. The medium is one man who has a ghost of a show. It’s a good cuff that has no turning. comicbooks.com