Judge, 1917-12-29 · page 9 of 29
Judge — December 29, 1917 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page contains two satirical pieces from around 1918: **"Higher Mathematics"** (left): A humorous dialogue mocking courtship and marriage through absurd arithmetic. The joke: when courting couples are together, "one and one make eleven" (they're inseparable); after marriage, they become "one" (unified); but when the wife dominates, the result is "ten" (the husband becomes a "cipher"—worthless). Adding children and their crying multiplies the chaos exponentially. This satirizes domestic power dynamics and the stereotype of nagging wives. **"Redeeming Features"** (right): Wartime political satire attacking German-sympathetic figures and Germany itself during WWI. It sarcastically credits various American politicians (Gronna, Vardaman, La Follette, O'Leary) and the German Kaiser with minor virtues while listing their major crimes or anti-American positions. The punchline—that even the Kaiser hasn't adopted cannibalism—represents the ultimate condemnation of his brutality. Both pieces reflect 1918 American attitudes: domestic humor and fierce anti-German propaganda during the final year of World War I.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
David Rowson. KULTUR Before Mathematics CUTTING Higher fy AL “c ND,” concluded the Prosaic Person, “ A as the fact that one and one are two.” “But.” interjected Earle E. Wurme, “are or is one and one always two? Let us cogitate. When she and he or him and her, as you will- -are courting, the result is cleven. Because one and one placed side by side make eleven. Try it on your courtship chart “When these one and one, which as strangers would make two, but which courtship makes eleven. marry they become one That is, the sum total WALTER it is as plain —as you have heard a thousand times. is one until she begins to boss, when the result turns to ten: she is the one and he is the t-rimmed cipher. “If Mrs. Hen Peck becomes a mother you might figure the family as three, but you'd be wrong It is two—mother and child. Or it is a hundred and one, the figures standing as before with the addition of the little one. Sometimes it is one —just the child. Or a hundred, with the parents ably assisting at the home plate by furnishing two ciphers for theic little one “Or, if things run amicably meaning peaceably, then the sum total is one hundred and eleven. baby ia this case adding the extra hundred. And this is particularly true when baby squalls; though, on second thought, eleven thousand are added, thereby meeting the suspicions of the neighbors who have to stand for the yells. How? you ask. Why, LITTLE 1918's and After, there’s the little one, and the mother beside herself, and the father beside himself. “T never was much on figures,” terminated E. E. Wurme, “but one and one do not always make two, any more than one and two always make three. The reason is the paradoxic; nature—or unadulterated, pure of domestic things. When there is an addition, then the family multiplies. REDEEMING FEATURES ENATOR GRONNA may seck notoriety by misrepresent ing American ideas and ideals, but he always has his shoes neatly polished. Senator Vardaman may have gained the contempt of the majority of his fellow countrymen, but he has a fine head of hair. Senator La Follette may be opposed to everything American and in favor of everything German, but his linen is immaculate George Sylvester Viereck may still menace to the community, but ste in neckwear is exceptional. Jeremiah O'Leary may be card- indexed by the secret service depart- ment, but he brushes his teeth every day. Mayor Thompson may have brought ridicule upon the city of Chi- cago, but he writes a very good hand. The Kaiser may have brought about the worst war in the history of the world, torn up treaties, violated neutrality, attacked unfortified cities bombarded churches, sunk passenger- ships, shot Red Cross nurses, poisoned wells, mutilated children, innoculated prisoners with germs, but he has not adopted cannibalism—yet. BIG JOB comicbooks.com