Judge — December 29, 1917 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WITH THE COLLEGE wits The. Purpie-C Cow E/TERy (Columbia University SOFT Soap In One Bar —Jack—If I dared to love you any more than I ought— Jill—Ves? Jack—I wouldn't love you any more than I do now? (Business of Marquess of Queensberry.) —Didja see that Prof. So-so won the trapshooting contest yesterday? Why—Why not? It’s what he makes his living at. Nux—What the public wants is more new jokes! Vomica —More riffde jokes is correct !! Der Boche—Sir, Captain Von Booben hauser’s regiment has been annihilated Der general—Why, isn’t that killing! Short-Cuts to Matrimony: No. 1 Short—I think you have a wonderful kiss- ing mouth! Cuts—How can you tell? »rt—Like this—(Bus. of Demonstration & Research.) Her—Theodore seems to be a very promis- | ing fellow. | She—No doubt about it. | to him once myself. I was engaged Editor—That line of humor is too bright for us to use. Joke Smith—What do bright? Editor—What I said: You—I know what the college man likes. Me—Now you're getting risqué! you mean, too not shady enough. XLIM (Williams College) HEDGING First rounder—1 promised sister that I would give every cent I made at cards to the Red Cross. Second rounder—How liberal. First rounder—Isn't it, though? Already the Red Cross owes me thirty dollars for what I lost! It Is Not Is it happiness I'd just like to know To have a girl up for the game, ‘Take all your cuts, spend all your dough, And have another fuss your dame? Le soldat in French? Le soldat’ Anglais—Things you wear to cover your legs, old man, just the same as they are in the U.S. A Américain—What are trousers Pride of Fifth Avenue—Have you read the story of Ruth and Naomi? The Broadway chick—No paper say? What did the Petrarch—Vhe Abbe:s was handing our prior an awicl line this morning. Dante—Stringing the Venerable ch? Bede. Ethel—(dreamily): 1 know made four men love her. Alfred—What? All at once? a girl that (Harvard University) UN Proverbs—A little lying is a dan- gerous thing. A single prisoner constitutes a victory. Doctor the truth and shame thy enemies. The proof of strategy is defeat. All is won save honor. You cannot make a Crown Prince. ure your breath to cool your porridge ticket. A Krupp in time floats a loan. A captured Hun dreads exchange. The glory that was T ; the grandeur that was Zeppelin. General out of a “Hey, “Why, why don’t you buy Society Gleanings—Miss Wasta Tyme has created a great sensation among high circles by — proclaiming (through the papers) that she has actually decided to take up war work. She conceived the remarkable idea of having cach of her three or four friends set aside a penny a week to establish a fund for the rejuvenation of dachshunds post bellum. Miss Tyme be- it possible to cross dachshunds with French bulldogs, thereby producing “hot dogs” direct, and by thus obviating the middleman and the Brighton Al lower the high cost of living suff repay the losses occasioned her friends by the establishment of the fund. If only a few more of our young women would show such a spirit we would soon re- alize what it is to be at war.