Judge — December 22, 1917 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Clean that Piece” The boys in Camp like Pictures! cvs The paper ‘that gives them the news and gives it to them 7 pictures is the paper they like. That paper is LESLIE’S America’s Leading Illustrated Weekly Newspaper You want to follow the war, too, to see it in the live news-photos that show you what words can’t begin to describe. You can see the war in Leslie’s — —and when you've finished with your copy you can send it to a soldier for one cent a week. You'll find the most war-pictures, the best war-pictures, FIRST, IN Leslie's Mlastrated Weekly Newspaper $5.00 a year 225 FIFTH AVE., NEW YORK CITY Stories with Smiles That Troublesome H—A certain English foreman in one of the Kensington textile factories is in the habit of having an apprentice heat i luncheon for him. The other day he called a new apprentice “Go down irs and ‘eat up my lunch for me,” ordered the foreman, he boy—a typical young American, with no knowledge of cockne h—obeyed with alacrity. He was hungry. ; minutes later the foreman came down. He also was hungry. “Where's my lunch?” he demanded. The boy gazed at him in amazement. “You told me to eat it up—and I ate it,” he stated. “T didn’t tell you to heat it up!” roared the irate foreman. to ‘eat it up.” “Well, I didn’t heat it up,” maintained the youngster, stouly. “Lay it cold.""—Youth’s Companion. “T told yo Practice Makes Perfect—A young Burnley weaver. according an English paper, was taking her litle baby to church to be christened Its father had been in the trenches for three months, and it was im. possible for him to get home for the ceremony. The baby smiled up beautifully into the minister's face. “Well, madam,” said the minister, ‘I must congratulate you on you little one’s behavior. I have christened 2,000 babies, but I never chris. tened one that behaved so well as you The young mother smiled demurely, “His grandad and me hev’ bin practicin’ wi’ him fer a week wi’ a bucket of water!” —Current Opinion. Lines to a Child But now you are getting To be a regular human being, And the grand jury of physicians Will indict you yearly On a dozen counts. And in the fulness of time, If you are good, ‘The doctors will let you have A comfortable middle age Full of hardened arteries— Child, life is before you! Little John Doe, Science is waiting To find you guilty! -New York Evening Sun. So, little fellow, You have adenoids, do you? How time flies! Very soon, now, you will Be big enough So that some doctor can Remove your Vermiform appendix! And then will come the dentist. I can look back And remember (As if it were only yesterday) When the only charge The medical profession could Prove against you was colic; Specially Endowed—‘“Some un sick at yo’ house, Mis’ Carter?” [ inquired Lila. “Ah seed de doctah’s kyar croun’ dar yestidy. “Tt was for my brother, Lila.” “Sho! What’s he done got de matter of ’m?”’ “Nobody seems to know what the disease is. He can cat an’ sleep 3s out all day long on the veranda in the sun and seems do any work at all.” | “Law, Mi Dat's a gif!”— Carter, dat ain’t no disease what yo’ broth’ got. Right—"Old Bostely the man who wa: “He’s quite right,” much to find out what’s the matter with it.” Probably It Was—‘ Mars John,” excitedly exclaimed Aunt Tildy as she rushed panting into a fire-engine house," pleas, suh, phonograph to de car cleaners’ semporium an’ notify Dan’l to emergrate home diurgently, kaze Jeems Henry sho’ done inn conjured! Doctor Cutter done already distracted two blo ultures from his ‘pendercitis, an’ I lef him now prezaminatin’ de chile’s ante-bellum for de germans of de neuro-plumonia, which if he’s disinfected wid, dey gotter ‘noculate him wid the icecoldlated quarantimes—but I b'lieves it’s conjuration!”—Richmond Times-Dispatch. says he has a million-dollar brain,” observed s picking up information. nswered the other; “it would cost him fully that -Indianapolis Star. Laugh Restrained—* Has a woman a sense of.humor?” “She has,” replied Miss Ca: “But a girl who allowed herself to laugh at whatever impressed her as ridiculous would stand little chance of being successfully proposed to.”— Washington Star. comicbooks.com aE