Judge, 1917-12-22 · page 25 of 28
Judge — December 22, 1917 — page 25: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge (December 22, 1917) contains literary satire and short joke columns, with a large advertisement. **"Composite Ballade"** by Ted Robinson is a humorous poem that mashes together famous lines from classic poets (Shakespeare, Byron, Keats, etc.) into one absurd work. The joke: no matter what literary fragments you assemble, they all somehow prove that "Bartlett contains all poems"—referencing *Bartlett's Familiar Quotations*, the famous reference book. It's satire on how thoroughly Bartlett's anthology captures literary culture. **The joke columns** ("Passing the Mustard") present brief, punchy one-liners about wartime life, marriage, and social awkwardness—typical Judge humor. **The large advertisement** promotes B.C. Forbes' business biography book (*How America's Business Giants Won Their Fortunes*), presenting it as inspirational self-help literature. This reflects the 1917 era's fascination with "rags-to-riches" narratives and business success mythology. The page shows Judge mixing literary mockery with patriotic-era content and commercial promotion.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ember 22, 1917 . Composite Ballade with the assistance of Bartlett's Familiar Connie from the works of Shakespeare, Gray, Byron, Pope, Dryden, Keats, Milton, Goldsmith, Berkeley, Stoddard, Omar Khayyam and Cowley.) TILL runs the water when the brook is deep, But winter lingering chills the lap of May; Teestars above their silent vigils keep, The curfew tolls the kne!! of parting day. Defaced by time, and tottering in decay, Well speeds alike the banquet and the ball. The beings of the mind are not of clay— Burtlett contains all poems, after all! Now rosy-fingered dawn begins to peep, But mercy is above this sceptred sway; for neither were you playing on the steep, Last night in beauty’s circle, proudly gay. Ay, but my computations, people say In barren splendor feebly wait their fall; Alas for Tully’s voice and Virgil's lay— Bartlett contains all poems, after all! Death, so-called, is a thing that makes men weep, And those who came to scoff remained to pray; Tired nature’s sweet restorer, balmy sleep, Their sober wishes never learned to stray. Time conquers all, and we must time obey, And the tall grass o’ertops the moulding wall; But these are deeds that should not pass away— Bartlett contains all poems, after all! (L’Envoi) There were his young barbarians, all at play- Men can be great when great occasions call; Asytia, Greece, Rome, Carthage—what are they? Bartlett contains all poems, after all! —Ted Robinson. Passing the Mustard Game—“You really think that he’s a fame soldier?” “You bet he is! Why, he’s as game as a married man says he'd be if he weren’t married!” —Buffalo Express. As Usual?—Chancellor—Sire, we will have to camouflage some of our diplomatic schemes. Kaiser—Then paint them a neutral tint.— Baltimore American. Sarcasm—Clerk—But you just bought this novel and paid for it. Customer—Y es. Clerk —Then why do you wish to return it. Customer—I finished it while waiting for my change.—Boston Transcript. Annoyance—“I can smell that ham and cabbage you're cooking away out in the Street !”” “Do you think it will annoy people.” _ “Yes. It'll make ’em envious.” —IWash- ington Star. Reversal of Form—‘“What’s on the menu?” asked the hungry man. “Well,” replied the waiter, ‘‘a few articles of food are mentioned. But most of the is taken up with government instruc- bsg on what not to eat.”’—Washington om SM IL TS AMAT ERE PPR Ie | The Most Inspiring Book Published in 25 Years 500 Pages; 50 Full Page Illustrations. Handsomely Bound in Cloth with Gold Decorations. $3.00 a Copy How America’s Business Giants Won Their Fortunes By B. C. FORBES Wouldn't you like to know how the really big men met and overcame the obstacles that confronted them? Wouldn’t you like to have the information for which they fought and struggled and often obtained only at great cost? Wouldn't you like to know how they made their first moves toward success; how they met and developed opportunity; how they met and overcame reverses; how they got to- gether money with which to do business?—so many of them started with nothing. The Way to Success We all know the big names in business and finance. What we do not usually know is how these men achieved _bigne Archbold, John D. ‘Armour, this knowledge is that is significant for us, for we are all continually ing ourselves the ques s, “How can I attain How can I too big things? What are the necessary qualifica- tions? What course must I pursue?” Here in most interesting Hepburn, A Barto story form are the answers | Inaait’Samiet to all of these questions. What Fifty Business Giants Say B. C. Forbes tells in his own inimitable way what America’s big men told him. Mr. Forbes knows how to get the information his readers want—not merely what big men want to say! He doesn’t wri of raphy — he writes human about the “little” inci- dents which p uC More Interesting Than Fiction No book of fiction could be as fascinating as these true, intimate stories of the men who are shaping the destiny of the nation—men whose names are on the tongues of millions. You will read this book as ravenously as a starving man eats food. And these stories will nourish your brain—they will feed your intellect—they will enrich your mind—they will inspire you to DO instead of DREAM. Shipped for Only $1.00 These fifty amazing stories—in book form —6500 pages—will be sent to anyone on receipt. of Personal, Intimate Histories of | only $1. If you are dis- abe, On0 J. satisfied after reading the ae Darwin P. book for a week return it McCormick, Cyrus 1 2 J.B. and _ your dollar will be re- funded at once. But if you decide to keep the book—as we are sure you will—send $2 after ex- amination, making $3, 7 in all. 4 You can render 4, no greater ser- 7, FS p Frank A. vice to your Publish- Wie Sonn S own — future /im4,£on lnc: Wootworths FW. than to read 7 10 Brestway “Men Who Are Mak- ing America.’’ You can choose no bet- 7 at aking. merca ter Christmas gift for 4 irre Me your friends and rel- : qi atives. It is a book —,“ .retsra the, Genk and you everyone sal en- deposit. joy and will want 7... " oe ep in their