Judge, 1917-12-15 · page 18 of 28
Judge — December 15, 1917 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge magazine contains college humor and short jokes targeting student life and academic settings (University of Nebraska, Lehigh, Syracuse). The cartoons mock: **"The Right Hand of Welcome"**: A crude cartoon showing a man being kicked by an angry father after embracing a young woman—a standard "caught courting" scenario reflecting early 20th-century parental vigilance over courtship. **The humor pieces** satirize: - Student pretension (the "short-story class" joke mocking affected writing) - Academic dishonesty (the "German pony"—a translation aid—smuggled from the library) - Student naiveté and double meanings (the "confectioner's bill" wordplay; the light-economy joke confusing gas lamps with romance) - Authority figures (incompetent professors, suspicious administrators) The "Atroci[ties]" joke references German atrocities in Belgium during WWI, making a dark humor connection between wartime destruction and an armless classical statue. Overall, this is lighthearted collegiate satire typical of the era, poking fun at student life, romance, and academic pretension.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“START where you begin,” said the teacher of the short-story c “Have a vivid beginning.” So teacher’s pet began his story in this way: ““Oh, hell,’ said the Duchess, who up to this time had taken no part in the conversa- tion.” Little Willie, taking a long walk with his Dad one day, saw a sign, * Painless Denti: Said Willie, “Dad, what is a painless dentist?” “A painless dentist, my son, is a liar.” We may be able to make use of that North Pole yet! “You know, I think the day the prodigal son came back must have been an awful slippery day.” “Why so? “Because the Bible says when his father came out to welcome him he fell on hisneck.”” “What does the chapter heading the 8 lesson read?” asked the teacher. Columbus, 1492,” replied Sammy. Isn’t that plain enough?” asked she. “Did you never see it before?” “Yes'm, yes’m,”’ answered Sammy, “but I thought it was his telephone number.” Lehigh University ‘THE Sayings of Solomon—He that wisheth to rise with the sun should not stay up late with the daughter. Freshman (excitedly)—Professor, someone is using a German pony Professor—How do you know? Freshman—It’'s gone from the library. Jim—Do you worry over your confcc- tioner’s bill? John—What's the sense of me and the con- fectioner worryin’ over the same bill? Chemistry Prof—Name three articles con- taining starch. Freshman—Two cufis and a collar. Visitor to hospital attendant—ls Mr. Mur- phy in? Hospital attendant to visitor—Ves, he is itor to hospital attendant—Very well, I'll wait. He pressed her to his manly breast, He gently hovered o’er her; Her daddy’s feet flashed thru the air; He's wiser now and sorer. “Who's the fat fellow just coming in?” “That's Tubleigh who brags continuously about being a self-made man.” “Great Scott! He looks more built by a construction company ike he was The Right Hand of Welcome Syracuse University EXPLANATION of Light Econ- omy—Bill—Do you know that turning down the gas saves matches. Co-ed—No, I thought that’ turning down the gas frequently made matches. (Editor's: Note—Turning off an electric light often causes sparking. Turning off a gas light causes an increase of pres. An increase of pressure causes a le: of the waste.) He was examining some rings. The jeweler said: ‘This size for eight dollars and this for ten.” With a mournful voice he replied: do 1.” Another Atrocity—Little Ruth, who had been reading about the German atroci- ties in Belgium, went with her mother to the Museum of Arts. “Oh, mother,” she cried, standing in front of Venus de Milo. “Look what the Ger- mans did to this poor Belgian woman.” True Enough—‘How many make a million?” “Very few.” W met then for obta kno cess how toge of t comicbooks.com