Judge — November 3, 1917 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ember 3, 1917 Stories with Smiles The Scot’s Advice—" Dinna marry for der, lad,” said an old collier, in a warning fice, to. a Young man. “When me an’ Jean gere wed, SiXLY Years sin’, we sat doon an’ fumed oor pooches oot, an’ there was half gcroon in mine and four shillin’s in hers Weel, every time we've fa'in oot sin’ syne. How me if Jean hasna aye feenished up by throwin’ that extra cichtcen pence in my teeth.” —Tit- Bits Logical—rs. Sehuson—How does yo" eel dis mawnin’, Joc? Mr. Johuson—| feels bad—mighty bad Iwish dat Providence would habe mussy on mean’ take me. Mrs. Johnson—UWow can you expr 5 toefyou won't take de doctor's medicit avast San Francisco Chronicle, AState of Preparedness—* This is ne time to talk peace,” declared Representative Thomas Hetlin, of Mabama. ‘Rather it is the time to keep on preparing. Germany dragged us into this war agitinst our will, and pow that we are in it we have to go through with it. We can win this war in a year teyond doubt, but we have got to keep go- ing. The United States is in pretty good shape now, and there is no reason why we sould talk peace. MOR} “There was an old fellow down in north A\yP Alabama and out in the mountains; he ON kept his jug in the hole of a log. He would gw down at sundown to take a swig of mountain dew—mountain dew that had wisdee! never been humiliated by a revenue ofticer nor insulted by a green stamp. He drank ests | that liquid concoction that came fresh from wee) the heart of the corn, and he glowed. One evening while he was letting the good liquor we} trickle down his throat he felt something eg «Ef ouch his foot. He looked down and saw a big rattlesnake coiled ready to strike. “The old fellow took another swig of the com, and in defiance he swept that snake with his eyes trike, der you, strike, you will never cf find me better prepared.’ <o “That's the way I feel about the present mwa situation.” —IWushington Post About to Miss Something—* Don’t m or Tl) shoot.” All right, my friend,” replied Mr. Dub- vaite, who was surprised by a burglar in his house. “Would you mind if I called my wife downstairs?” a “Trying to play a trick on me?” “No. She's been expecting a visit from a burglar for the last twenty years, and I [Pf iust_ want her to sce what one looks like.” ) Birmingham Age Herald oe less at ¢. Not a Self-Starter—The energetic au- tomobile salesman had just delivered the fair customer her new car, and everything lovely. He had scarcely entered the , e, however, when he received a tele- —J] Phone call. yME “TL though She said: you told me that this car was replied the stlesman © “Nothing of the sort. I have to push a button to make it go.” —Financial America. EGYPTIAN _ DEITIES “The Utmost in Cigarettes Tass Ender ob py Repke of culture refinement and education sear | PREFER Deities any othr sigan 25° Plaggyres Aakers of te tyghcat Conde Tor bosh eo Lpypgen Coprvacs a birkd 7 annWATCHES & ON CREDIT ¢ SENSATIONAL WATCH SALE ELGIN, HOWARD, WALTHAM er'eny Weteh you went aay Poyments and Free Trial. Free O0-poge Catalog. Send tor It. GREAT DIAMOND SALE 1A 0m ‘A Woaderfal Valae, $4.50 per month ‘30 DAYS’ TRIAL ‘The most astounding sal: eitereae TERMS LOW AS S1.60 PER MONTH We Money Down, Free Triat ALFRED WARE C0., St. Louis, Ma., Dvat. 815 pertect cut Die Do Your Christmas Shopping Now WHY NOT—Select you stock and avoid the crowd of late xifis from bigger stmas shoppers WHY NOT —Ilelp every woman, man, girl and boy who sells and delivers your purchases to enjoy a Merry Christm: If you do the convenienc’cs you meet with, help ined to wait until the last minute. DO IT NOW —and everybody will have a Merrler Christm: about v Vhis will » carly—tell your fri sence those who a CA Cleanin Qh delicate fabric or color REMovEsS GREASE SPOTS 15¢25¢50¢ Bottles-All Druggists 3 made wit B. & C."" white and fauey colored hid, ave cleaned with Carbuna Cleaning Fluid. comicbooks.com