Judge, 1917-10-13 · page 5 of 28
Judge — October 13, 1917 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This WWI-era satirical column attacks American pacifism and defeatism. The cartoon shows a daredevil pilot performing stunts above a landscape with a wireless tower—visualizing bold military action against cowardice. The text mocks various peace advocates: those hoping drafted men won't fight with "German ferocity," politicians relying on "padded figures," and professional pacifists preferring "free speech but free advertising." Malloch argues pacifism is intellectually dishonest and weak. He sarcastically suggests repealing laws "as easy as a banana" and criticizes college boys studying German rather than fighting Germans. The final lines equate teaching German with unemployment—suggesting cultural disloyalty. The piece reflects pro-war sentiment and suspicion of dissent common in American publications during WWI.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“Yes. ERE’S hoping that the ballplay- H ers who were drafted will charge with the same ferocity on the German empire that they did on the Irish umpire. The trouble with the professional pacifists is that all the men are poor imita- tions of women and all the women poor imitations of men. Nothing gives us more joy in life than the ability to look ahead—except the inability to see anything. A restaurant is about the only place now that you can get home cooking. Our wives so seldom are. A light heart is all right, if it isn’t due toa light head. It makes me dizzy to look at him!" The Notion Counter | By DOUGLAS MALLOCH Honesty isn’t always the best policy: the burlesque show owes its success to padded figures. There is only one thing you can make more of by talking than friends, and that is enemies. We wish the Government would pro- hibit not only code messages but also C..O. D. messages. What the professional pacifist: really wantsisn’t free speech but free advertising. A man always wants to know what a young man is engaged in, and a woman what to. People talk about the British lion, but do you read the German war reports? It looks like. the suffrage cause may be impaled on the White House pickets. Men who are always opening jackpots seldom open savings accounts. The Kaiser is ready to make peace if they will let him make it. A number of our college boys have gone abroad to take German. The Kaiser keeps taking the name of the Lord in vain, in vain. What this country needs is more ’taters and less agitators. The draft law would be about as easy to repea banana. The college yell is generally emitted by father. Add to the unemployed: teachers of German. Add to the employed: Germany. teachers of comichooks.