Judge — October 13, 1917 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

fe) BREAK oe ale D tI %T O R I A LS The Value of a Gift We suggest that all the rats in the country and all the college catalogues in the country be mobilized at Mammoth Cave, HAT is the value of a gift? How shall it be and that the cave be kicked in. appraised? Shall it be estimated according to the cost Sixes and Sevens L the dare-devil drives aren’t on the Meuse or the Marne. Just the other day, neral Aguilar dodged between the her part; yet it accomplished little for the charity to which — bullets, and married Carranza’s daughter. ¢ nd Duke Michacl says he won't accept the Russian and as significant of her self-denial. throne unle: Hed by the peopte.” He'd better induce them The Christmas Box which goes from the Jupce reader to to call him Mike, and then try for the police force! e “Mental rupture” failed to get by with a —only — exemption board, but it comes handy to hav to the giver or according to what it means to the receiver? The widow's mite represented much sacrifice on it was given. It w great only as far as she was concerned, the soldier at the front is of small value, yet of great value. New York City around the house sacrifi To the giver it represents merely a nomi! ro fifty cents. To the receiver it means Christmas and Good 'P Case you have to shoot up the co-respondent. Cheer from Home, in the shape of what seems a veritable Well-informed congressmen concede that there’s no treasure chest of comforts and unhoped-for delicacies. no West, and no North, anyhow. 2 How many of these boxes will you give? Sometimes we have to forbid free speech, but most of Send in your contribution to JupGe’s Trench Christmas it is bought and paid for. | Fund! ¢ | | Don’t those White House militants know that Eve started } | College Catalogues all the trouble in the world when she decided to pick it? | HE RATS at Ohio University eat up three hundred dollars’ 2 | worth of catalogues a year. Good! At last we know what War motto for Congress: Quit you like men—but quit, 1] rats and college catalogues are for. They are for each other. anyhow. Let us now pray that the propaganda for the extermination of Ad rats be halted until rats have exterminated college catalogues. Sweet are the uses of adversity—but so far they haven’t For a long time we have suspected an affinity between rats _ officially Hooverized them as substitutes for sugar. and college catalogues, but we have never had the temerity to 2 hope that they would fuse. Both have been looked upon with Elihu Root says he never said the women ought to vote in a sort of vague terror and both have failed to attain much — Russia, “which is none of my business,” or that they ought to social distinction. Instinctively vote in America, “as to which I we have avoided them. have not changed my opinion.” The rat, for the most part, is Fancy a statesman minding his a fellow of low standards. He own business, and not changing delights in filth and terrorism, his mind! Some men will make he shuns the light and the open awful ices to break into the and he lives by thievery and headlines. usurpation. No cellar is too damp for him, no well too stag- nant, no refuse too revolting. He is of the earth, rotten. In the realm of fancy the college catalogue is a very rat. There is no kind of information too disintegrated for a college 2 catalogue. There is no cavern Discoverer MacMillan dis- of professorial cerebration too covers that Discoverer Peary’s a isty. Ni aaa Mrs. Gossip—I understand your latest mistress was queer, “Crocker Land" i - dark and misty. Nowhere else and’ Glked a bk to hereatt hes abae Ie hae foc Crocker Land” is a mirage. So is there less lucidity. Nowhere, “Applicant V den't Leow, mame I war neve aah her much less world to make safe indeed, is there more stagnation. when she was alone. for democracy and Dr. Cook. 2 The Kaiser gets us all wrong if he thinks we are going to de. pose him after the war. He may go on thinking he’s the head of the house just as contentedly as if we were his wife.