Judge, 1917-10-13 · page 10 of 28
Judge — October 13, 1917 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two satirical pieces from *Judge* magazine: **"The Architect Solves a Social Problem"** is a morality tale about a working-class couple. After hearing a church sermon on cleanliness, Nora thoroughly cleans their home and baby. When her husband John returns dirty from the steel mill and inadvertently stains the baby's dress with his work clothes, Nora's exhaustion causes her to lose patience. The escalating conflict ends in divorce. The satire critiques how middle-class moral ideals ("cleanliness is next to godliness") are impractical for working families living in poverty and industrial conditions. The "solution"—moving the bathtub to the front porch—mockingly suggests architects design homes without understanding actual working-class domestic struggles. **"An Annoyance"** features a rural Southerner complaining about motorcycles disturbing his rest, constantly fearing they signal racial violence (lynchings or KKK activity). This satirizes both rural paranoia and the actual prevalence of such threats in the Jim Crow South. The "Evolution of the Swagger Stick" appears to be a simple comparative illustration.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE ARCHITECT SOLVES A SOCIAL PROBLEM NCE upon a time there was a steelworker. His name was John. John got very dirty at his work. And John'drank! Now he had a wife the house. named Nora. Nora was careless about Also she had a baby. ‘ Nora and John went to church every Sunday. This time they heard a bully sermon. It was about cleanliness and its geographical relationship to God. They decided to try it on. So Monday morning Nora took the house apart, and cleaned and scrubbed and put things together again. Then she togged out the baby in its only best dress. She had embroidered that best dress with her own hands. Lastly she tidied herself up. And then it was supper time. John came home, very sober. He was also very dirty, so he headed right for the bath- room. Now to reach the bathroom he was obliged to go through the hall, and the living room, and the kitchen, and the bedroom. He met his wife as he passed through the kitchen. She gave him a sorry little smile but he patted her wan cheek and called her his “darlint.” The baby was in the bedroom, perked up pink and prinky. John picked her up with a happy heart and kissed her, so—and so—; and set her down, his hand on the bathroom knob. Nora poked her head in the door and screamed. The baby’s little white dress was ruined with the iron stain from John’s overalls. Now Nora was very tired, and overworked, and a wee bit short of patience, so she stormed in and snatched up the ruined tot; and in her huff she slapped John for his carelessness; and Shade of Captain Kidd—I suppose I was cruel sometimes, but I never did that! he slapped back; and kicked the table over,—and swore at Nora; and stormed out . and got drunk. Next thing they were divorced. So now the Architect puts the workingman’s bath tub on his front porch. —Wayn Flete. “ I the night,” admitted Mr. Gap Johnson, of Rumpus Ridge, Ark. “Almost every time one goes rippity-popping by I grab my gun and jump forth, thinking. mebby the niggers have riz or the white caps hi ‘ome again, or something that- Of course, I know in reason that neither is the case, but a feller can’t afford to take no chances. And it breaks me of my rest powerful.” AN ANNOYANCE "M getting sorter tired of these yur motorcycles passi Proof of Ability “He made his money by luck.” “Yes, but he kept it—and no man ever keeps it by luck.” EVOLUTION OF THE SWAGGER STICK