Judge — October 6, 1917 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Passing the Mustard She Didn’t See—“Can your husband im exemption?” dial, T'don't sce how he can be strong to fight abroad when he is too weak at home to take up a carpet.” —Baltimore American. All Taken—‘You say you want a job ia this office? Well, what can you do?” “Nothing.” “Why didn’t you apply sooner? All those high-salaried position have been taken long ug.”—Houston Post. Critics — ‘‘Good-morning! I came to tune your piano.” “Piano? But I didn’t send for you.” “No, ma’am, but the neighbors said I caght to call.” —M inneapolis Tribune. No Sense In It—“Does your husband sorry about the grocery bill?” ¢ he says there’s no sense in both himself and the grocey worrying over the ame bills."—Topeka Capital. Seaside Affection—//e—Darling, I love you. She—Good gracious! just become acquainted. He—Yes, I know, but I’m only down here for the week-end.—Boston Transcript. Why, we've only Never Talks About It—‘You never talk about our baseball club.” “No,” replied Miss Cayenn Aren’t you interested in it Yes. But I make it a rule never to speak unkindly about anybody.”"- Washington Star. What It Meant—Sunday-school teacher —What does this verse mean where it ‘ “And the lot fell upon Jonah? Little Harvie—1 guess it means the whole gang jumped on him.—Kansas City Star. Won't Stand for It—‘I can imagine vhat will happen the first time a German polls that ‘kamerad’ cry on a Yankee Well, what will happen?” “He'll look him in the eye and_ say: ‘Where do you get that comrade stuff? Worse—* He's in a bad way.” “Broke, ch? Yorse than that. He's down to the where nobody will lend him money any -Detroit Free Press. Quite So—*We may live to sce the air- ploe in common every-day use like the automobile.” “Sure! But our chance of living to see that will be better if we leave the experi- Renting to other people.”—Boston Tran- script. _ Disqualified—Knicker—Is Jones phys- ‘ally disqualified? Bocker— He can’t see red, white and blue; te can’t hear the call of duty, and his legs nn backward.—Vew York Sun. GREAT REAR SPRING WATER “Its purity has made It famous.” ‘Se the case of ix glass stoppered bottles. (Adv) “Laugh and the World Laughs With You” Kipling himself never did anything better than “Little Jane jorner”: ice Switzer’s There are Laughs galore in every page of M: Satire & Song Had the tay ten woud, she might have stayed sot Ja.5, fun maker and allcround loom dlspelier thie work ao? Ge SG cl Der Deanery oer in the mesh Simply irresistible. i , E ‘Of desire’s drag-tiet which Ie bell If a good lauch is better t ome of physle, then SATIRE & SONG ‘will actually eave scores of doctor's bilis If you want to shine as an entertainer among your, friends, The Author ss New York business man with a keen but SATIRE € SONG is be Foities. Te Kindly outlook on life. and a rare sense of bumor. He pats his observations of life over the pate In the sort of verse that ras boles in the memory Switzer's verse that ERE Knew Her Lite Book Only a small edition of SATIRE & SONG, with unique lustra- jut She Knew Her Tittle Book tons tn color, and In attractive Art Dinding (size of volume the species that will be Instantly — x °""ipenes hy 6. inches), designed for private circulation among the author's friends.’ has been published. Because of the merit of the book we have prevailed upon the author to set avide a few copies for our patrons whom we shall be pleased to supply ata price representing, approximately, cost of manu- Broadway Mother ( and those de — facture. “* Jes, “The Ruby Yap of Homer, Yam.” "The SATIRE, & SONG will be sent postpald to your address on Song of the Skirt and “The Purple Raven eee e Odo Gul bac ena Te HODAT.> There we only What O, Henry did for some American types In prose, Maurice a few coples for general distribution. To get one you must be Switzer has done ta verse, and no less convincingly Prompt. Money back If not satisfied. BRUNSWICK SUBSCRIPTION COMPANY, 225 Fifth Avenue, New York City ARPQNA Cleaning Fluid > CLEANS tothe most (3 Without inj / \ delicate fabric or color REMovES GREASE SPOTS 15¢25¢50¢ Bottles-All Druggists hk CANNOT BURN OR EXPLODE Shoes made with ““F. B, & C." white and fancy colored kid, are cleaned with Carbona Cleaning Fluid. comichooks.