Judge, 1917-10-06 · page 22 of 28
Judge — October 6, 1917 — page 22: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects short humorous anecdotes typical of Judge magazine's satirical humor. The pieces are college-focused jokes, likely intended for a sophisticated 1920s American readership: **Key Content:** - "Thirty Years Hence": Nostalgia about pre-war innocence ("unpolluted days") - "Court-Martialed for This": Military satire about legal/illegal materials during wartime (possibly Prohibition-era or WWI references) - "Get This!": Business school humor about typewriter touch-typing systems - "Onions Will Out": Pulp crime fiction parody about bootlegging or black-market goods and guilt - "Strictly Informal": Dating/courtship humor about removed formal attire - "Sentimental Reason": WWI recruitment joke about enlisting to follow a friend The page also contains advertisements (Red Cross subscription, Page's China Cement, diamonds, mineral water, and Hotel Webster), indicating this is a typical Judge magazine spread mixing satire with commercial messaging. **Overall tone:** Urbane, topical humor reflecting concerns about modernization, military service, and changing social conventions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Subscribe to the s& Red Cross x Use This Chest Free! Sent on Free 4 a O Reduced Factory Prices. Freight Pi STANDS HOT AND COLD WATER 10¢ ee | With the College Wits | Thirty Years Hence In thirty years, our sons, grown men, Will group our grandsons ’round their knees And tell them often and again What unpolluted days were these!—Sun Dial Court-Martialed for This—High pri- sate—Why don’t you use some of this Car- t your fire with? ‘geant—Can’t do it—it ain't legal tinder in this country. (Not a sound was heard, not a funeral ! corpse to the rampart we hurried.) —Longhorn. Get This!—*Your boy’s going to Busi- ness School, isn’t he?” “ earning the touch system.” Panther. More Attractive remendous crowd up at our church last night.” “New minister?” “No, it was burned down.” —Awgwan. “Onions Will Out” “An’ just then, as Bill was reachin’ for the onion, I sneaks up behind ‘im an’ grabs his shootin’ iron; I and he loses all interest in life when I plugs him. I grabs the onion, an’ lays low for a week, while the papers howl about ‘Big Onion Steal.’ An’ now I'm in a hell of a fix! I can’t sell it ‘cause they’d know I got it. An’ worse ‘n that—I can’t cat the darned thing, "cause someone *'d smell it on my breath.” —Pelican. Strictly Informal—“Where are you going?” “Callin’.” “Where's the stiff collar?” “I’m not going to marry the girl today.” — Record. Sentimental Reason—'20—I want to enroll in the roth regiment. Recruiting officer—Why that regiment? ‘20—I want to be ne friend of mine. He's in the r1th.—Orange Peel. Terms as low as $1 a month Mineral Water HOTEL WEBSTER 40 W. 45th STREET Just off Sth Ave. The most beautiful of the City’s small hotels. Four minutes’ walk to 40 Theatres. Center of shopping district. Much favored by women traveling alone. $2.50 up. Send for Booklet A W. JOHNSON QUINN INVENTIONS COMMERCIALIZED on cash and royalty basis. Inventors and manufacturers ‘should write at once {or free booklets. Adam Fisher Mfg. Co., '"? Seimex Pec