Judge — September 29, 1917 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE THEY WOULD TRY TO LOVE HER YMPOSIUM at the close of the service on the Sunday the new minister's wife makes her first appearance: Deacon Keene—Ruther youngish to fulfill all the duties that come to a pastor’s wife. Still, we must try to love her along. Deacon Tarte—Ruther smart looking. Hope she won't want to run the whole church like our last pastor's wife did. But, as you say, we must love her along. Sister Tarte—A pretty gay hat for a minister's wife to wear. It ain't setting a good example. Seems to me that plain black is about the most becoming thing for a minister's wife. Sister Sharpe—I never like to see a minister's wife wearing jew'lry and beads, and she has on both. It will just make the young feel that they have a warrant for doing the same thing. An’ red beads at that! Sister Gloome—She don’t look very strong, and she has a kind of a tired way of speaking. Hope we.ain’t going to have an invalid on our hands. We got too much for a minister’s wife to do for that. But, as Deacon Keene says, we must try to love her along. Brother Byrdlover—Feathers on her hat! And here I was hoping to get her to take the presidency of our Bird Protection Society, Her husband will hear from me before the week is out! And it’s an aygret, too. Sister Bussell—She don’t seem to meet folks free and easy like. What a woman Pastor Fourthly’s wife was for that! Perfect strangers felt right at home with her. But it’s plain that she ain't going to be like that. Wish she could put a little more feeling into her handshake. HOME GUARD Now YOU es yt Tete You"! Sister Dyke—Wish to the land she would lengthen her dress skirt a little. I don’t call it dignified for a minister’s wife to wear skirts up to her shoe tops nor trailin’ in the dirt cither. You can see ev'ry button on her shoes when she setsdown. And a bright red neck scarf ain’t the most becomin’ thing for a minister's wife to wear to church. One thing about our last pastor’s wife was that she did dre appropriate and didn’t run to gay colors nor showy hats. She had only one hat the two years she was here. Sister Burte Perte—She was lucky to have that with six children and her husband getting six hundred a year. Sister Reetorte—He had the parsonage, and so there was no rent to pay, and many was the mess of stuff I sent them from my own garden. This minister’s wife ought to save twenty dollars a month with only one child. But she don’t look to me like one of the saving kind. Still, we must try to love her. A Chorus — Yes, indeed! along. We must try to love her —Morris Wade. SAYS J. FULLER GLOOM T° err is masculine. To keep reminding him that he did err is feminine The man who can sing and won't sing should be made accept a vote of thanks. Th ge man is usually found wanting, whether he ighed in,the balance or not. I never argued with a preacher. He is unable to use the sort of language that would warrant me in giving him both barrels. I formerly had so much trouble in remembering whether Frances or Francis was feminine that I finally con- cluded that it did not make the least difference. —Tom P. Morgan. Considering all the chewing it took to pass it, that food con- trol law has alot of teeth after all. NOw LET ME ITELL YOU SOME THING THE DAILY CHANGE OF ROOKIE OFFICERS AT PLATTSBURG comicbooks com