Judge — September 15, 1917 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Reverse Case —Boob —Most things that are bought go to the buyer. Simp—Yeah, all except coal, and that goes to the cellar.—Awgwan. Feeling Is Believing —Golpher—say, did you sce where my ball went? Innocent bystander—No; but I felt where it landed—W idow. Gear-Shift—She—When I changed from high to low: ‘He—Why, I didn’t know you had a car. She—No, I meant shoes.—Burr. Beat It, Grad!—Planter—Have you ever had any experience on a sugar planta- tion? Grad by reques!—Oh, yes; I raised quite a little Cain while I was in college. Chaparral. een St nme RN RS te (clbce sou ¥ “T see the performers in th: at the Star have been arrested.” edating without a license.”—Iidow. Embarrassing Moments—The R. O. T.C. rookie who has been exhibiting his skill before a group of Sunday afternoon callers, suddenly discovers that a recently-graduated .member of West Point is among those present.—Record. + A Good Beginning—Geraldine (tear- fully)—Jack, our engagement is at an end, and I wish to return to you everything that you have ever given me. Jack (checrily)—Thanks, you may begin at once with the kisses.—Burr. Paradoxical Young Cupid is a marksman poor Despite his love and kisses, For though he always hits the mark, He's always making Mrs. —Awgwan. Ever Gone Smoke-Hungry ? O you know what it means to find yourself at the end of a good, hard day's work with nothing to smoke? You women-folk ask your men about that feeling. You men—remember the last time you were caught with- out the ‘‘makin’s” or a grain of tobacco? Now think of Uncle Sam's fighters in France, out there in the thick of things fighting your battles. Don't let them go smoke-hungry. They're fighting a good fight—see to it that they have at least this bit of comfort. Figure yourself, or someone you love, standing in a trench with death just around the corner most of the time, and then when relief comes, digging into the tobacco pouch and find it empty. This sort of thing will never happen if you come across promptly and generously today and send in your contribution (anything from a quarter up) to “Our Boys in France Tobacco Fund” Army officers who know from actual experience how much tobacco can do to keep the fighting-man’'s spirit up—the Secretary of War and the Secretary of the Navy—all endorse this fund. . Arrangements will be made to buy the tobacco at cost, so that your quarter will put forty-five cents’ worth of tobacco into the pouch of the man on the firing-line. The distribution of the tobacco will be in competent and experienced hands. Every cent donated will go towards the purchase of smokes. Rent, postage, salaries are contributed. OUR BOYS IN FRANCE TOBACCO FUND 25 W. 44th St, New York HAT’S the story. Now you Enclosed find to buy packages of liberal men:and women do your inborn, hen “Oot Boys in France Tebacco Fund" for American bit Lunderstand that each dollar buys four packages. cach with a retail value of forty-five cents and that in each of my packages will be placed a post card, addressed to me, on which my unknown friend, Fill out the coupun in the corner the soldier, will agree to send me a message of thanks. before you set this paper down and get it inlo an envelope with your con- tribution before you do another blessed thing.