Judge — August 25, 1917 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Studying Processes HE college division of the National Educational Associa- tion, which has recently committed another annual symposium out at Portland, Oregon, backed up in a corner and focused the searchlight of its blinding intelligence upon the processes current in love-making. Due to the fact that many of our new army camps and concentration points are not far removed from certain popular colleges it was deemed advis- able to resolve a few things about what ought to be done in regard to the way college girls act when they find themselves dated with the men in khaki. We don’t know what our august college authorities are going to pretend to do about this serious matter, but we'll bet all we can beg, borrowand steal that they never get the soldier boys and the sweet young things to making love in accordance with a set of regulations drafted by a set of people who have forgotten how it is done—if they ev knew. College professors may teach chemistry and Sanscri and integral calculus and unfermented sociology, and get aw: with it fairly well; but they are going to have a hard time giving a hazel-eyed coed, with red lips and fluffy auburn hair, any pointers on making love to a stalwart young fellow in uniform. You can’t make love according to rule, not even if you are a college professor. If you do, it isn’t love—it’s misery, misery of the worst type. Does any- body suppose that any real live young man ever put his arms around a sweet little gi and held her tight ac- cording to anybody except Hoyle? And if he did, did she like it—or him? Would any- body you know like to have a pair of coral lips meet his ac- cording to laws laid down by a rheumatic old doctor of philosophy? We guess not— a thousand times not. . We are betting our money on the college girls and the soldier boys. If they get to- gether and make love, it will be real love—not a sickly substitute approved, checked and countersigned by a hair- yesterday, The squirrel—Humph! must have broke his head when I dodged him He's got it done up in splints today! less-headed committee on student affairs. It will be the kind of love that you or I would make if we were eighteen or twenty- “two. What is youth for, anyway? Sixes and Sevens R. MICHAELIS, the new German Chancellor, starts in as. big as a Northern population for draft purposes, but will he hold his own like a Southern population for Congressional representation purposes? e Some of our congressmen are so patriotic that they can’t bear to diminish the glory Uncle Sam is about to win by reliev- ing him of a single obstacle to success. e Thus far, the Constitution of the United States has with- stood every strain, thanks to the skill of the fathers in framing it and the sons in evading it. & Some of these anti-volunteer extremists would like to see even the advice to Congress conscripted. # The poor we have always with us, whereas Congress does take a recess occasionally. ¢ Let us remember that the censorship is all that keeps the Germans from blabbing our inside State secrets to persons who mightn’t guard them as dis- creetly as they do. 2 We know of nothing more interesting these days than to watch the rotation of the Kaiser’s skull on the axis of his egotism. Kerensky strikes us as not at all the sort of man who would appeal to the Russian people without having fixed it up with the direct primary in the back office. 2 The way the neutral na- tions are coming in, the in- habitants of the globe wilt soon be composed of only two races—Allies and foreigners. >——___+>—_—_-